


if you get lost in the light, it's okay (i can see in the dark)

by jessieflemlng



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, F/F, angsty but also a lot of fluff too, more au for the woso tag, slow burn kinda but not really
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-26
Updated: 2018-01-13
Packaged: 2019-01-23 13:38:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 32,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12508656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jessieflemlng/pseuds/jessieflemlng
Summary: The ball bounces onto Alex's foot just a little off target, and lands a few feet away with a soft "plop" in the grass. Deciding to get it later, she quickly shags the rest of the child sized balls. Just as she's stuffing the last one in, she becomes acutely aware of another person's presence. She looks up to find a woman with brown hair and more freckles than Alex could count holding the fallen football in her outstretched hand."Thanks," Alex says. The woman just shrugs. Alex finishes packing the first set, but the whole time she can't seem to take her eyes off the other woman. She's seen her before, of course, dropping off and picking up her niece from stuff for the soccer team Alex coaches, but something about her makes it seem like she's known her for years and years. She opens her mouth, but then closes it without saying anything. The woman arches an eyebrow. Alex blushes, but says, "Sorry. It's just, you look familiar."A look of hurt flickers in the woman's eyes, but then it's gone. A smile slides easily onto her lips, but when she says, "Well, I'm not sure from where," Alex can still hear just a hint of pain.or,Harry Potter au





	1. chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> title from the song "since we're alone" by niall horan from his new album flicker!! streaming on spotify & available on the itunes store!! recommended!!

Second Year - September

 

Alex Morgan has been attending Hogwarts for exactly two weeks, and Kelley already knows more about her than she does her actual roommates. To be fair, part of that is _because_ of her roommates, who can’t seem to stop talking about said girl.

Of course, some of the things spoken, especially by one Emily Sonnett, aren’t exactly true.

“I heard,” Emily says, pausing for dramatic effect. She chews off a bit of licorice wand, and then finishes knowingly, “She ate a muggle’s toe when she was five because her dad told her to.”

Tobin mimes throwing up, Kelley wrinkles her nose, and Emily’s fellow Hufflepuff, Sam, falls dramatically back onto the red carpet. 

Their Ravenclaw friend, true to her House, just tosses her an unimpressed look. “That’s _literally_ the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard,” Christen says. “Stop it, you’re scaring Mal.”

“Pugh’s gotta learn sometime,” Emily shrugs. 

“Learn what?” Kelley rolls her eyes and puts an arm around her first year housemate. “Don’t listen to Sonnett, Slytherins aren’t all bad.”

“Maybe not,” Emily says, “but have you ever met a Death Eater who wasn’t one?”

There’s a brief silence.

Then, “Did you know you’re incredibly pessimistic for a Hufflepuff?”

Emily sighs. “Yes, but stereotypes mean nothing.”

  
Tobin gives her a pointed look. “ _Touch_ _ é _ .”

Ridiculous as Emily might be, Kelley hears the rumors everywhere. Each one is more unfathomable than the last, but everyone seems to believe them on some level. 

It’s already been weird enough that Alex didn’t attend Hogwarts her first year, and even weirder that she wasn’t sorted in front of the whole school like everyone is as a rite of passage. She rode the train with the school, but didn’t do the boat initiation, and somehow was already sitting with the Slytherins during the first day feast.

It certainly doesn’t help that her father is one of the most famously accused Death Eaters. When the fall of Lord Voldemort happened, Alex was only five, and despite everyone knowing about their connection with dark magic and the Death Eaters, there was zero evidence to convict her family. 

Emily flops onto her back to let her face get warmed by the fire that’s almost always burning in the Gryffindor common room. There's a brief silence, and then she sits up abruptly. “Besides, her eating someone’s toe isn’t even the worst of it.”

“What could be worse than that?” Mal finally pipes up. Her eyes are wide.

“Don’t worry about it,” Christen says loudly, giving Emily a look. 

“Well, _I_ heard she’s actually the daughter of He Who Must Not Be Named, and was given to the Morgans to raise as their own and become the next Dark Lord,” Tobin says. She stretches out a finger towards Emily as if to accuse her. “ _But_ , I know it’s not freakin’ _true_ , because that’s _stupid_.”

Emily raises her hands in defeat. “Hey, don’t blame me when Alex Morgan sneaks into our dorm and feasts on us.”

“Feasts?” Kelley rolls her eyes. “I swear, you should be in Slytherin yourself.”

Despite knowing better than to listen to the rumors, Kelley can’t help but form her own picture of Alex in her mind. To be honest, she’s never actually met her, and hasn’t really seen her around the castle either. 

So when a girl with a green tie hesitantly stops her as she’s leaving her first class on Tuesday and introduces herself as none other than Alex Morgan, Kelley almost doesn’t believe it. Said girl is wearing her uniform perfectly neat, unlike Kelley who’s already lost half her ties in the first two weeks, her hair is combed to perfection with not a single strand out of place, and it’s all pushed back with a pink headband. 

“I’m Alex,” she says again.

Kelley recovers quickly and says, “Hi, I’m Kelley.”

“Yeah, I know.”

Okay, that’s fair. After all, Alex looks like she’s just been waiting for her to get out of Charms.

“So... what’s up?” Kelley tries to be as polite as possible, but honestly? Seeing Alex look so... non-lethal is really messing with her. The next Dark Lord really wears pink headbands?

“Uh, well, you know how I’m kinda new?” Alex actually looks nervous, and Kelley just nods. “I mean, I have friends. Well, _a_ friend. Sydney. Anyway, I thought maybe we could eat together sometime? ‘Cause, like, we’re both seekers and student-athletes. At least, that’s what I heard. From Sydney.”

Kelley literally has to stop herself from laughing because at first she thinks it’s a joke. Is Alex five? Is this her version of going up to a random stranger and asking, “Will you be my friend?” 

But Alex isn’t joking, and when Kelley realizes that, she finds herself saying yes, and offering to sit at the Slytherin table that night during dinner. 

Alex’s eyes light up and her smile takes over. Really, her smile should be illegal. Her teeth are, well, pretty much perfect, but it’s the way her happiness seems to radiate from her entire body. It’s contagious, and Kelley can’t seem to wipe her own matching grin off her face, which leads to her still smiling widely when she walks into Potions.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Emily asks. Her yellow tie is seriously contradicting to the person she is. Kelley flicks it as she sits down in her usual spot.

“Nothing.” She tries her best to force the smile off her lips, but the more she thinks about not smiling, the more she does. 

“Bullshit.”

“It’s not!” Kelley takes out her potions book. “Shut up, pay attention.”

“I’m gonna find out eventually,” Emily whispers. 

The two pair up with the table behind them for the day's lesson. Christen and another Ravenclaw Kelley had Defense Against the Dark Arts with the year before are seated together, and Kelley starts guessing how much they’re is going to do for them.

Christen removes her cardigan, folds it neatly, and gently pages through her spotless textbook, while Julie tugs hers off haphazardly, flicking through her Potions book that already has a bunch of writing in the margins. 

“So, first,” Christen starts, “I always find it easier if we set out all the materials we need in the right measurements. That way, if we need to add something quickly, we aren’t scrambling to measure it out or go find it.”

Her tone is commanding, but gentle, and Kelley knows she only acts like that because she’s smart enough to back up her unspoken authority. 

Just as Kelley has counted out four earworms, the door opens.

Alex is standing in the doorway with a lock of dark hair folded over her pink headband. The entire class pauses, and stares at her. 

“Hi.”

“Can I help you?” Professor Snape asks. His tone is displeased that his class has been interrupted, but he sounds nice enough because, well, it’s Alex; notorious Slytherin and possible Death Eater.

“I’ve been transferred into this class,” she says in a small voice.

He nods. Turning to the rest of the class he asks, “Who will add Miss Morgan to their group for the day?”

No one moves. Everyone avoids eye contact with each other. It’s probably because of this that Kelley misses Emily’s silent begging, and stands up. “She can join us.”

Alex instantly looks relieved and trots over to them quickly. Her footsteps echo around the stone walls, and as she sets down her stuff, she all but hides behind Kelley until the rest of the class resumes their work.

“Hi, I’m Alex,” she says quietly. 

The other three are staring at her, until Christen manages to get out, “Hi, I’m Christen.”

Julie quickly follows suit, and Emily looks a little excited and a little scared as she introduces herself. 

Kelley feels the most uncomfortable she’s ever been in her entire life, but she just smiles easily and says, “So, we’re making this sleeping draught. We’ve been setting out measured ingredients. Why don’t you dice three bat wings for us?”

Alex nods gratefully, and takes up the knife.

They work in silence for what seems like an eternity; any conversation they might have had has been killed by the proverbial elephant in the room. 

As Christen neatly spoons one level helping of bee ash into the pot, she opens her mouth and smiles at Alex. “So, how do you like Hogwarts?” Christen asks. She tries for casual, but it comes out a little forced.

Still, Alex looks happy to be interacted with at all and replies, “It’s nice. The food is good, but the castle is a little different than my old school.” 

Julie raises her eyebrows. “Which was...?”

  
“Beauxbatons.”

“France?” Emily finally chimes in. Alex nods. “Color me impressed.” She pauses. “And hungry.”

Kelley rolls her eyes. “You’re always hungry. Here, have some bat wing!” She tosses half of one at her, and Emily is about to retaliate with the jar of pickled octopus eyes, when they notice Christen looking at them with her hands on her hips.

“Sorry,” Kelley mutters.

Alex looks slightly amused, as does Julie, and though the conversation still doesn’t flow, it’s not as horrifically tense as it was before. The class flies by, and the thought of dinner puts everyone in a hurry.

Understandably, the four of them are all starving by the time they’re finally cleaned up and dismissed.  Not even pausing to drop off their books in their dorms, they wave goodbye to Julie and Christen who have opted to return to their common room first, and all but run to the Great Hall with their bags in tow. 

“Look, I see them over at Hufflepuff,” Emily says. She points, and Kelley follows her finger until she spots their group of friends. 

Alex shifts slightly away from Kelley, who says, “You go ahead, I’m gonna eat with Alex tonight.”

Emily raises her eyebrows so high they’re almost in her hairline. “Okay. I mean, really? No offense, of course, Alex,” she assures her quickly.

“Yeah, really,” Kelley says, as Alex shrugs. 

“Okay, if you’re sure.” 

Kelley nods. “No worries.” Emily trots off uneasily, and Kelley turns to Alex with a smile. “Lead the way.”

  
The Slytherin starts towards her House’s table, and Kelley follows suit. It’s not a long walk, but Alex manages to ask Kelley if she wants to go sit with her friends at least six times. On the seventh time, Kelley says, “If I wanted to sit with them, I’d be sitting with them. I don’t do anything I don’t want to, okay?”

She watches Alex consider this, then relax. A smirk falls onto her face. “I can believe that.”

“Good.” Kelley gives her a nod.

“Good.”

“So,” she starts, sitting down across from Alex. “How was your day?”

“It was nice,”  Alex says. “I’m kinda tired.”

“Same.” 

Asking about someone’s day when all that’s happened is school is literally the worst ice breaker ever. Kelley should know this, but she doesn’t, which is why the two of them are now sitting in silence, staring at anything but each other. 

“Oh, look, potatoes,” Kelley says lamely. 

  
“Want some butter?” Alex asks way too enthusiastically.

“Yes, please.”

“Gravy?”

“No, thank you.”

Silence.

Kelley looks around the room, and finally spots a pin up advertising for Quidditch tryouts. She swallows her bite and asks, “Do you like Quidditch?”

Alex’s eyes light up, and Kelley grins. 

_ Jackpot.  _

The Slytherin is off and talking in an instant, and Kelley is perfectly content just watching. She goes on about her position and a new broomstick she wants and the people she played with in France and how her mom taught her to fly and how her dad bought her her first broom, and she’s just starting on about her favorite professional team (Manchester QC) and professional player (Abby Wambach, Seeker), when she pauses. Her cheeks turn red, and she ducks her chin. “Sorry.”

“No!” Kelley gestures for her to keep going. “I like listening to you talk.”

Alex raises her eyes cautiously, keeping her head down. “Really?”

“Yeah,” she laughs. “Why not?”

“I don’t know.” Alex looks embarrassed, and Kelley knows not to press it.

She’s never been good at changing subject casually, but she tries her best. Her mind has flagged onto a piece of information Alex said, so she says, “Abby Wambach is good, _but..._ can she really compete with Heather O’Reilly?”

Alex looks absolutely outraged. “Uh, of course?”

“Heather has the most goals in the NWQL,” Kelley says. “You know that, right?”

  
“ _Yes_.” Alex rolls her eyes and gestures with her fork impatiently as she talks. “But, Abby is way faster and has way better form.”

“Speed doesn’t matter, goals do,” Kelley counters. “Heather is better.”

“Take it back.”

“No.”

“I’ll fight you,” Alex says. 

“Let’s go right now.”

Somehow, the two end up in a stare-down, and Kelley finds herself caring less about their “argument” and more about Alex’s face. It’s the first time she’s been able to really look at her without it being weird, and she realizes that Alex isn’t just cute in an adorable way, but she’s actually really pretty. 

Her skin is pale, but not sickly, which contrasts beautifully with her dark hair that brings out the blue in her eyes far brighter than Kelley’s ever seen. 

Kelley’s eyes are just travelling down the bridge of Alex’s nose, when she catches herself and blushes. Now it’s her turn to be embarrassed. “Sorry.”

“You’re not the first.”

Kelley’s eyes snap up. Alex doesn’t look uncomfortable, just amused. 

At their age, nobody has ever really had any relationships, but Kelley knows it’ll be soon.

She wonders if Alex has had a boyfriend or girlfriend before, and then realizes the fact that she doesn’t know already is because this is the first time she’s actually ever talked to Alex in depth. 

The realization hits her like a ton of bricks, and her mind can’t help but take her back to all the rumors she’s heard.

_ Her parents are Death Eaters. _

She’s _ a Death Eater. _

But as Kelley lets herself be tugged back into a conversation about whether Manchester QC is better than Real Madrid, she finds that she doesn’t care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woohoo ya boy is back at it again w the au fics. ik with the summary & then this chapter u might be a lil confused but i promise it'll make sense!! i hope u liked it, next chapter should be wayy longer.
> 
> \-- evan (jessieflemlng on tumblr)


	2. chapter two

_**Thirteen Years Later** _

 

“You’re going to do great, seriously.”

Alex checks the mirror one last time, and smooths her already perfect ponytail again. Taking a deep breath, she spins ninety degrees to face him, and says, “Okay. You’re right. I got this.”

She scoops up her UC Berkeley lanyard as Servando hands her the brand new Adidas backpack he’d surprised her with when she’d told him about the new job.

After graduating, she’d felt stuck, and didn’t know what to do. Servando had already been signed by the San Jose Earthquakes, and on one particular wine filled evening, she joked that _she_ should come coach them for a job. As if opening a door she never knew was even there, she realized she really _could_ be a good coach, just not for professionals.

A day later, like magic, there it was -- a posting on the online forum for the Bay Area that was advertising a full time salary job. They were starting a fourth 09 girls soccer team, and needed a coach. She applied immediately, and, four background checks and three weeks later, they hired her officially.

Of course, now, she regrets it. She’s never been more nervous in her life, and Alex checks the address five times before even leaving. Once she actually pulls out of her driveway, she manages to drive the whole way five miles under the speed limit. She refuses to give into the cars that find new creative ways to tell her to hurry the fuck up and sticks to her slow pace, because with her logic, driving slowly means she’s never going to get there.

Unfortunately, that’s not the case, and she arrives far quicker than she anticipated.

The field is empty, however, and as soon as she steps onto it, she feels her nerves vanish. All of a sudden, it’s just soccer. This is just another group of girls that Alex is going to share her love of sport with.

She sighs, and smiles.

In record time, she sets up a field of cones with a goal at either end, and empties out two sacks of size 2 balls. With nothing to do, she juggles for what seems like no time at all, but when she checks her watch upon the arrival of the first car, she realizes it’s been nearly forty-five minutes since she finished setting up.

A young woman, around Alex’s age, walks up with a smile on her face and a little girl in her hand who looks equally as excited. The woman is talking to the little girl, but stops short when she finally looks up and meets Alex’s eyes.

“Hi!” Alex says brightly, not aware of the shock plastered across the woman’s face. “Just for the first day because this is a new team, I’m going to need you to sign in. Is that okay?”

The woman is still staring at her, but she catches herself when the little girl she’s with nudges her. “Right, sorry. I’m Kelley O’Hara, this is my niece, Rose Lavelle.”

Alex checks off the name and smiles. “Excellent, and will you be picking her up today?”

“Uh, no,” Kelley says. “Her mom.”

“This is my first club team,” Rose pipes up. Her jersey and shorts are obviously too big on her skinny little frame, but she’s got shin guards and boots that are worn in, and Alex knows she’s going to be a hard worker.

“That’s okay,” Alex says. “I didn’t join my first club team until I was thirteen.”

“How long have you played soccer?” Kelley asks slowly.

“My whole life,” Alex says proudly. “Played all through high school. I was going to go collegiate, but I injured my ankle. I’m fully healed, it’s just never been the same.”

Kelley nods, but Alex can’t decipher the look on her face. A little amused, a little sad, and a lot shocked. She doesn’t know what to say, but Kelley says, “So, is this your full time job?”

Alex grins. “Yup! This is actually my first club team as well, as a coach. My husband--”

“Sorry, your _husband_?” Kelley stands there looking even more shocked than she did before, and there’s a look of disbelief plastered on top.  
  
Alex nods. “Yeah, why?”

She just shakes her head, mumbling, “Nothing. I gotta go, see you tomorrow, Rose.”

“Bye, Auntie Kevin!” Rose waves. She’s kicking around a soccer ball completely obliviously, but Alex is sure she sees a tear fall before Kelley turns away.

“I’m sorry?” she apologizes unsurely, but the woman is already jogging towards her car.

Trying not to let it shake her, she puts on a smile for the rest of the parents. Most stick around because it’s the first day, which doesn’t help Alex’s nerves, but she’s able to run warm-ups and drills successfully, they play a couple games, and then they scrimmage. They’re just getting out of the bumblebee soccer stage, and most take direction in stride when she notes they’re getting too close together.

At the end, the parents look satisfied and the kids are happy.

For the next four weeks, three times a week, practice continues much in the same way, with games on the weekends. At their fourth game, Kelley’s there, but she absolutely refuses to even acknowledge Alex’s presence, whether it be positive or negative.

The next couple months bring pattern and structure to Alex’s life, something that she has a feeling she’s been missing for a while. It’s a nice, welcome change.

On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, she holds practice for her 09 team. They begin with warm-up exercises to prevent injury in their little bodies (Alex has been very strict about stretching properly), then they play a couple games to warm-up on the ball, they work on plays, and then scrimmage.

On top of Servando’s job and the surprisingly high pay rate of coaching for this particular team, Alex has lots of free time that allows her to really examine each player she has, and to also hold private sessions with any of them that ask, for free.

On this particular Tuesday afternoon, Rose Lavelle is utilizing Alex for some extra coaching.

“Good,” she encourages, watching Rose’s feet as she performs a dribbling course for the fourth time. “Don’t rush it... Excellent! That was even better than the last time!”

“Thanks, Coach!” Rose has a wide smile spread across her flushed cheeks, and Alex squints up at the California sun.

“Alright, kiddo, time for another layer of sunscreen,” she says. Her star player follows her dutifully back into the shade, where Alex fishes into her backpack for the sunscreen Rose’s mom gave her. “How has your day been so far?” she asks, rubbing the white sunscreen into Rose’s almost just as pale skin.

“Bad.” Rose wrinkles her nose and starts messily spreading some sunscreen onto her legs.

“What? Why?” Alex knows little kids don’t have a lot of perspective, so anything they say is bad could be “my mom died” or “I dropped my ice cream”, but she’s concerned nonetheless.

“I had to go to school.”

Alex shakes her head, letting out a little laugh. She dots Rose’s face all over with the sunscreen for her to rub in. “School is important, though.”

“Where did you go to school?” Rose asks.

“Well, I grew up on the other side of California near Los Angeles,” she says, “I went to Diamond Bar High School. But when I was your age, my elementary school was...,” she trails off, frowning. The name is on the tip of her tongue, but she can’t recall it. “Actually, I don’t remember,” she chuckles. It’s a laugh, but it’s an uneasy, uncomfortable one.

“That’s okay,” Rose says with a shrug. She takes a big gulp of water, spilling half of it into her shirt due to the wide mouth of her bottle. “It’s better that way. I wish I could forget, especially today because we did a lot of math.”

Alex just shakes her head. She’s already distracted, and doesn’t think it’s a big deal because obviously she had to have gone to school _somewhere_ , but it still makes her just a little uneasy. She makes a mental note to ask Servando later.

“I think you would be good friends with my Aunt Kevin,” Rose says thoughtfully.

Alex smiles, “Oh, yeah? Why’s that?”

“You’re both athletes,” she says, like it’s obvious.

That piques Alex’s attention, for real. “That’s cool, what sport?”

Rose opens her mouth, but then pauses. “Uh... well, it’s like soccer, but it’s not.”

“Okay... handball? Field hockey?” Alex tries to guess. Rose’s aunt did look quite athletic. She often picked or dropped her off in sports clothing, not to mention her physique that was clearly the product of some kind of physical activity.

“No, you wouldn’t know it,” Rose says. “Can we do the dribbling obstacle course again?”

And that’s the end of that conversation.

When Rose’s mom arrives right at four o’clock on the dot, she hands her daughter the after-practice snack she brought, which looks like half a peanut butter sandwich and apples slices, and approaches Alex.

“Practice was great today, Mrs. Lavelle,” Alex says genuinely. “Rose is really improving a lot, and I’m not just saying that. I think she could really have a future in this sport if she wants it.”

“That means a lot, coming from you,” Janet says. “Heard you could have gone pro straight out of high school, but didn’t due to injury.”

Alex shrugs in a ‘what can you do?’ sort of way. “Yeah. It was disappointing, but I love coaching.”

“I can tell.” Rose’s mom glances down at her daughter, who nudges her leg. “Alright, alright, I’ll ask.” She looks back up at Alex and smiles a little unsurely, “So, I have this big favor to ask you. You can totally say no, but I figured it couldn’t hurt. Rose wants to have a soccer birthday party; she’s turning nine next month. I thought maybe you could organize and run some games because you have all this equipment, but they’ll do other party stuff, and you’ll just be able to hang out for most of it.”

Alex widens her eyes a little, but smiles. “I wasn’t expecting that, but it sounds awesome.”

“You’ll do it?” Janet says, clearly surprised. “I mean, we’ll pay you and everything.”

Alex shakes her head. “No way, I’ll do it for free.”

“But, this is your job. You should get some kind of compensation, right?”

“A piece of pizza and a slice of cake,” Alex offers with a little laugh, but she's serious. “No money, please.”

Rose is practically vibrating next to them with excitement, and Alex ruffles her hair. “Email me the details, and I’d be happy to do it. You know I love this kid.”

Of course, when Alex agreed to do the party, she never considered who would be there. Specifically, Rose’s aunt.

When she sees the familiar car pull up the park the party is being held at, she can’t help but roll her eyes at herself. Of course the woman that Rose would talk about every second of the day if she could is going to be at her party.

She hears Rose abandon a ball she was kicking around to dash of and tackle her favorite aunt, and as they walk towards the tables set up, she excitedly starts chatting away about all of her friends that are going to be at her birthday party and also can Kelley believe she’s really nine-years-old already?

Alex tries to casually finish setting up, but she’s already done, so the logical thing to do would be to go over to where Kelley is chatting with Rose’s mom.

She doesn’t.

Instead, she straightens all the cones, goals, and even arranges the balls in a little spiral. All of this takes a disappointingly short amount of time, and eventually she just accepts that she’s going to be a coward, and begins juggling by herself.

She makes it to thirty before the ball, smaller than the standard size Alex is used to, bounces onto her foot just a little off target, and lands a few feet away with a soft "plop" in the grass. Deciding to get it later, she snags another ball from her spiral, and is about to try again when she becomes acutely aware of another person's presence. She looks up to find the woman she’s been avoiding, like the mature adult she is, holding the fallen football in her outstretched hand.  
  
"Thanks," Alex says.  
  
Kelley just shrugs.  
  
Alex has seen her before, of course, dropping off and picking up her niece from stuff for the soccer team. They’ve even talked once, a painstakingly awkward interaction that ended with Kelley storming off when Alex mentioned Servando, but something about her makes it seem like she's known her for years and years.  
  
Alex opens her mouth, but then closes it without saying anything. The woman arches an eyebrow. Alex blushes, but says, "Sorry. It's just, you look familiar."  
  
A look of hurt flickers in the woman's eyes, but then it's gone. A smile slides easily onto her lips, but when she says, "Well, I'm not sure from where," Alex can still hear just a hint of pain. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry,” Kelley says, almost desperately.  
  
Alex almost laughs, but Kelley looks so serious, that she can only ask, “For what?”  
  
“That day I talked to you and ended up just walking off,” Kelley says, a little embarrassed.  
  
“You mean, the day we met?”  
  
Kelley’s eyebrows furrow, and the look of hurt is back for just a second, but she says, “Uh, yeah.”  
  
“Oh, don’t worry about it,” Alex says nonchalantly, as if wondering why on Earth Kelley reacted like that hasn’t been spinning around in her head for months.  
  
“No, really,” she says. “I was having a bad day, and I took it out on you.”  
  
“It’s okay,” Alex says.  
  
Kelley smiles a little, and then nods. “Okay.” She kicks a ball softly towards Alex, who sends it back to her. “So, tell me about yourself, Coach Alex Who Is The Greatest Soccer Player Ever.” Alex raises an eyebrow, and Kelley holds her hands up in the ‘don’t shoot’ position. “Hey, Rose’s words, not mine.”  
  
Alex laughs, but says, “Well, I’ve never lived anywhere but California. I grew up near LA, but both me and my husband went to college at UC Berkeley, and we just decided to just stay up North.”  
  
Again, there’s that mysterious look of pain that’s visible for the shortest amount of time until Kelley covers it up again. It seems to come out at the strangest of times, but Alex knows better than to mention it.  
  
Kelley coughs nervously, and then asks, “Your husband? Tell me about him.”  
  
She sounds like she doesn’t _really_ want to know, but did ask, so Alex says, “Well, he’s probably the greatest guy I’ve ever met. He’s so sweet, funny, kind, a good footballer as well. He actually played for UC Berkeley while we were in college; it’s how I met him. I would have played for the women’s team if I hadn’t gotten injured. He’s professional now for the San Jose Earthquakes, but he’s great with kids, and I think he’d be a good coach. He’ll be a great dad, at least.” She blushes again. “Sorry, I’m rambling.”  
  
“No, it’s okay,” Kelley says. “I like listening to you talk.”  
  
“Really?”  
  
“Yeah, why not?”  
  
In a shocking turn of events, considering Alex began the day intending on avoiding Kelley at all costs, the two are inseparable for the rest of the party. They talk about everything, like they’ve known each other their whole lives.  
  
Still, there’s always a faint hint of hurt and pain in Kelley’s eyes. It’s there when she smiles, when she laughs, and it never really goes away. Alex can’t explain what it is or why it’s there, but she also can’t help but think she’s reason for it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cyb alex morgan played for cal. like,,,,,,,,,,,, she made a conscious decision to play at that heathen school smh
> 
> \-- evan (jessieflemlng on tumblr)


	3. chapter 3

_**Second Year - October** _

 

So far, Kelley has learned that Alex likes pink, puppies, long walks in the castle’s gardens, and making Kelley laugh. None of these things scream “Dark Lord” or “very evil” or even just “Slytherin in general.” 

In fact, Kelley can’t find a single reason why Alex has been sorted into Slytherin, besides her surname, until she sees her chase after a snitch. 

One one cloudy, late October afternoon, Kelley heads out to Quidditch practice only to find the Slytherin team already there. The Slytherin/Gryffindor rivalry died long ago with the fall of Lord Voldemort, but it’s still odd to see them at what are usually closed practices.

“Hey.”

Kelley’s pulled out of her thoughts by a soft voice and a gentle touch on the arm. Alex is standing there with her broomstick in one hand and pink pre-wrap in the other. Alex offers her the roll, but Kelley shakes her head, opting instead to just throw her hair into a ponytail and hope for the best. Alex shrugs, but releases her broom to fix her hair.

Kelley glances around before whispering, “No offense, but why are you guys here?”

“Scrimmaging, I think,” Alex says. “Hope said she and Lauren had been discussing it over the summer with the other two captains. Apparently they want to add inter-House scrimmaging more often to training.”

”You know, I’ve never actually _seen_ you fly,” Kelley says with a grin. “I have high standards, Morgan.”

Alex smirks. “I’d expect no less.”

Kelley is just starting her reply, when the Captains blow their whistles. The two split off to their own teams, where she sees Lauren nod her head over to the right, and shoot up into the sky. 

“Alright, today is going to be a different kind of practice,” she starts. “We’re going to be scrimmaging, but also working on plays. Hope and I think it could be a really effective form of training to take turns trying different runs to see how the other team reacts.”

“Will we be doing this with the other Houses?” Kailen asks. 

Lauren nods. “Yeah, Hope and I are already working on that. For now, we thought we’d start with each other because Slytherin has always been our most difficult opponent. Any more questions?” 

“Who’s calling fouls?” Mal pipes up, a little quietly. 

“Don’t worry, kid.” Lauren sends her a smile. “Hope and I will both be watching. Anyone who fouls excessively will be benched for the next game.” She resettles herself in her broom, and then says, “Now, if there are no more questions, let’s get started. Kelley, you’re in as Seeker.”

Kelley bites back a groan, knowing it won’t do anything to help, but refuses to look her Captain as she turns and flies away into position. 

Slytherin is breaking at the same time, and Kelley finds herself face to face with Alex, who, of course, made the starting seven within the first month of attending Hogwarts.

Hope hovers between them for a few seconds, blows her whistle, and lets the snitch go. Kelley immediately starts tracking it as Hope dashes back into position. 

The day is more than slightly overcast, and there’s no sun to reflect off of the snitch to give its position away. On top of that, Kelley hasn’t played Seeker in pretty much forever, and has really only ever trained as a Beater, which is how she made the team in the first place. As if that wasn’t bad enough, her old broom had broken over the summer, and Kelley’s currently borrowing an old school one from at least ten years ago. 

Unsurprisingly, Alex finds it first.  
  
She darts off to the right with a slight lean into her broom while Kelley is still searching for it, but then veers left sharply. Kelley squints, looking for it somewhere in the direction Alex is going, but finds herself eventually giving up and just watching Alex.

She’s bent low on her broomstick with her dark hair shooting back in a perfectly straight line. Her jaw is clenched, her lips are smirking, and she’s as solid as a rock as she hurtles after the little golden ball. 

Kelley has never seen anything more Slytherin in her entire life. 

She almost forgets that she’s supposed to go after it, too, but Kailen yells her name from her perch up in between the goalposts, and Kelley’s off and after Alex in an instant. 

As soon as she hits what she knows is pretty much her maximum speed, especially considering the broom she’s on that might actually split in two at any given second, Kelley realizes there’s absolutely no way she’s going to get the snitch. Even if Alex hadn’t had a head start and wasn’t just a little bit quicker with a better eye, she also just as this look to her.

They’re almost neck in neck, with Alex pulling just slightly ahead, but Kelley can see the pure determination on her face, and when she glances over at her again, there’s a slight flash of green in her eyes. She furrows her eyebrows and stares just a little bit longer, until suddenly she’s spiraling away.

Alex doesn’t even spare her a glance, and as Kelley rights herself about ten feet above the ground, she comes to the realization that Alex literally body slammed her. Before she has time to be mad, Alex has caught the snitch, and floats down triumphantly. 

Not a hair is out of place, and her little pink headband looks as fresh as when Alex slipped it over her ponytail twenty minutes before.

“Great job, Morgan,” a sixth year, Whitney, congratulates her. Alex’s teammates pat her on the back, as Kelley sourly watches the little golden ball flit helplessly in the Slytherin’s hand. 

“What happened?” Ali asks, looking concerned. 

“Kevin saw a pretty girl and got distracted,” Mal crows. 

“Shut up,” Kelley warns, “I will kick you off this team.”

“You can’t do that, you’re only a second year,” Mal says. 

Lauren drifts over to them with her hands on her hips. “Okay, chill. Mal, leave Kelley alone. Kelley, relax and focus. Try again.”

Both teams head back into position, and Lauren releases the snitch. 

Again, Alex spots it first, and, again, she catches it. They reset no less than ten times, and each play ends in Alex excitedly waving the snitch in her hand. 

“Kel, what’s going on?” Lauren asks as the teams begin making their ways back to the locker rooms. 

“I suck, that’s what’s going on,” Kelley says with a bit of a bite she doesn’t try to hide. “I suck! I’m defender, how could you make me starting Seeker and expect me to to do well?” 

Lauren sighs, removes her flying gloves, and stuffs them in the waistband of her trousers. “Look, I wouldn’t have done it if I hadn’t had a choice. But you were the best candidate, and I’ve seen you play Seeker better than you played today. You just need practice.”

“No, I need to be in _my_ position,” Kelley says loudly, “not the position you _want_ me to play.”

“Please don’t yell.”  
  
“I’m not yelling!” Kelley yells. 

Below them and around them, players from both teams linger to watch what’s become more of an argument than a discussion until Hope swoops in to nudge them along. 

“I’m sorry it had to be you, but it’s necessary for our team.”

“Then you do it!” Kelley huffs. 

Lauren narrows her eyes slightly, and moves a little closer. “I’m still your Captain, O’Hara. If you think I haven’t earned the armband, that’s a different conversation we can have, but until then, I expect your respect.”

Kelley clenches her jaw, and then says. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Lauren gives her a short nod. “Me, too. Let’s talk tomorrow, alright? Dinner?”

She gives an “okay” that's barely audible, then spins around and tears off away from the Quidditch pitch. The air is bitingly cold, but her anger keeps her warm as she navigates her way around towers and trees that fall into her path. 

She reaches the lake in record time, and almost falls onto her face as she skids to a stop on the gravel. 

The water is eerily calm under the dull gray of the sky, and Kelley finds a solace in it that calms her racing heartbeat and fractured thoughts. She’s so wrapped up in watching the gentle lull of the waves that she barely even registers the sound of another person landing on the rocks until a soft “hey” is released.

Kelley spins around and feels her anger start simmering again. “Well, if it isn’t Super Seeker.” Her tone is biting and angry, but below it, all she feels is hurt. 

Alex’s eyes are wide and soulful as she says, “I’m sorry. I thought... never mind.”

She turns to go, but Kelley’s conscience gets the better of her, and she says, “Wait.” Alex stops. “You thought what?”

She picks at a thread on her green flying gloves nonchalantly, but her flushed cheeks give away her nerves. “I just thought we were, well, friends?” 

Kelley’s heart breaks and she sighs, stepping towards Alex. “We _are_ friends.”

“Then why won’t you let me comfort you?” 

“I don’t know.”

“Isn’t that what friends do?” Alex asks desperately, looking even more upset than Kelley. “I mean, I know I’m not very good at it--” 

“What are you talking about?” Kelley asks. 

Alex bites her lip, and Kelley can practically see her thoughts racing around in her head. Finally, she says, “My parents didn’t let me talk to anyone besides them until I was eleven, when I was sent to Beauxbatons,” Alex whispers. “And there, nobody would talk to me because they were afraid of me.” 

“Alex...”

“Besides Sydney, you’re the first person I’ve ever even thought of being able to consider a friend.” Alex’s honesty is heart-wrenching. “So, I won’t be very good at it, but I’d like to try.”

“You don’t need to try,” Kelley says. “You’re already brilliant at it.” 

“Really?” Alex’s eyes are innocent and almost tearful, and Kelley finds she’s telling the truth when she says, “of course.”

She sighs and steps closer. “Come here.” She holds open her arms, and Alex almost falls into them with a sigh. They fit together perfectly, and Kelley feels herself warmed to the core. “First rule of being a friend,” she says into Alex’s hair, “is hugging. As long as your friend likes hugging, do it often.” 

“This is nice,” comes Alex’s soft reply. 

Kelley inhaled deeply. Despite having just finished a two hour Quidditch practice, Alex still smells sweetly of vanilla. “Yeah, it is.”

They pull apart, but just enough that they’re facing each other again. Kelley’s hands fall gently to Alex’s hips, who’s arms loosely rest around her neck. “Please tell me what’s wrong,” Alex whispers. 

“I don’t know,” Kelley says quietly. But then, all of a sudden, it’s like just the act of gazing into Alex’s eyes clears her mind enough for her to get out, “Quidditch. Lauren wants me to be a Seeker.”

“And you’re not?”

She shakes her head. “Not even close. I’ve been training as a beater all my life. Since I was three in a Mommy and Me class.”

Alex’s smile eases a tightness in Kelley’s chest is is t she didn’t know was there. “Baby Kelley flying on a broomstick.” 

Kelley chuckles. “I was a sad little child. Couldn’t stay on my broom by myself until I was four.” 

“And now look at you,” Alex says. Her optimistic tone grows more serious as she says, “A successful student athlete who’s only a second year, and whose Captain believes in her enough to pick her to become a Seeker. And, it might not mean much, but I believe in you, too.” 

She backs up almost unconsciously as she says it, but Kelley notices and closes the distance again, saying, “It means everything.”

“And I can help you!” Alex says brightly. “We can train together on the weekends, and I can give you all of my secrets.”

“ _All_ of them?” Kelley teases. 

Alex smirks. “Enough to beat Hufflepuff, but not enough to beat me.”

They fly back to the castle feeling much lighter than when they had left, and at dinner the next day, all it takes is a knowing hug from Alex to calm  Kelley’s nerves enough to face Lauren. 

She trots off to the Gryffindor table and takes a seat in front of her Captain. Lauren gives her a smile and offers her the spoon for the potatoes. Neither of them speak until Lauren takes a drink of her pumpkin juice and then says, “Kelley, if you really don’t want to do this, you don’t have to.”

The younger Gryffindor tucks her chin. She’s about to say, “thanks, I’ll pass,” but Alex’s voice echoes in her head encouragingly. _She believes in you._ Kelley swallows her bite of brussels sprouts, but then holds her head up. “It’s okay, I want to.”

Lauren looks surprised, and pauses with her fork halfway to her mouth. “Are you sure?”

Kelley nods. “Quidditch is a team sport, and if this is what the team needs from me...”

Lauren looks delighted, but her voice is calm and collected as she thanks her. “I see in you a potential that not many players have. You have the speed of a Seeker, the strength of a Beater, and the ability to read the game like a Chaser. That’s what makes you so good at this sport; you see your position from the perspective of all the other ones.”

“Thank you,” Kelley manages to get out.

“And you’re only a second year,” Lauren adds. “You have so many years to grow. This decision to take on what might be the most difficult challenge you’ll face as a player highlights your maturity, and you’re going to be an amazing Captain one day.”

Kelley’s eyes snap up. “Captain?”

Lauren shrugs, but her lips are smiling as she says, “I already have a good idea of who I’ll be passing the armband to, and I would be very surprised if whoever I choose didn’t pick you as well.” 

“l don’t know what to say,” she says honestly. Second years barely make the starting seven, Kelley can’t imagine being even just considered for team Captain. 

“You don’t need to say anything.” Lauren holds her hand out. “Just promise me you’ll wear the armband dutifully on the field, and the badge responsibly off.” Her other hand points to the shining Captain’s crest on her robes, and the vision of herself strolling the halls with it pinned to her chest has Kelley sticking out her hand eagerly. 

“I promise.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for the record, i don't write for word count, i just kinda go until it feels like a logical place to end the chapter + i've covered everything i wanted to, & it comes out at a little over 2k every time, so in case you're wondering, that'll be my chapter length most of the time. nothing less than 2k, i think, but not a lot more 
> 
> \-- evan (jessieflemlng on tumblr)


	4. chapter four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so the amount of years later is the amount of years from the first chapter (their second year), not the amount of years since the last """flashback""" chapter, if that makes sense

**_Thirteen Years Later_ **

 

Alex rises with the sun. 

She has nothing scheduled for the day, and on any other occasion would have rolled over and gone back to sleep. Today, she props her head up on her chin, and reaches for her phone. 

**Not Super Seeker [3:12 AM]** - _heyyy you have a day off today, right? wanna do something?_

Alex rolls her eyes at the name Kelley had saved herself as. She’d begged and begged the other woman to tell her what the oddly specific string of words meant, but Kelley had just shrugged and said, “I’m bad at finding things.”

**Alex [7:36 AM]** \- _Why would you wake up that early? But, yes, I’d love to do something._

She’s barely able to set her phone down before it buzzes again. 

**Not Super Seeker [7:36 AM]** - _actually that was when i went to bed LOL had a power nap n now i’m ready for action!!!!!!! and a meal. breakfast?_

**Alex [7:37 AM]** - _Sure! Give me time to shower and get ready._

She’s typing a second message when more text appears under Kelley’s name. 

**Not Super Seeker [7:37 AM]** - _whyyyy just come as u are now im sure you look just as beautiful as always_

Alex pauses. She can’t help but blush a little, though she knows Kelley must be kidding. Deciding she was, Alex quickly opens her camera and takes a picture of herself with the most deadpan expression she can muster. 

**Alex [7:39 AM]** - _Really?  
_ _ Attachment: 1 image - tap to open _

**Not Super Seeker [7:39 AM]** \- _like i said. beautiful._

More blushing. 

Deciding to ignore it, because ignoring her problems has worked out really well in the past, she forges ahead with the breakfast plans. 

**Alex [7:43 AM]** \- _Did you have a meal place in mind? And why does your Snapchat Maps say you’re in the U.K.?_

**Not Super Seeker [7:44 AM]** \- _interestingly enough, i have absolutely no clue!! haha. must be glitching or smthn don’t worry about it. and uhhh the original pancake house?_

**Alex [7:44 AM]** \- _Sure! Sounds great. I can meet you there at 9:15?_

**Not Super Seeker [7:45 AM]** \- _why so specific_

**Alex [7:45 AM]** \- _My bad, I meant 9:16 and thirty seconds._

**Not Super Seeker [7:46]** \- _now we’re talking. im going to have another power nap. good night. see you then!!!!!!!!!_

Alex rolls her eyes, but sets her phone down and races to her closet. After deciding that the hundred or so outfit combinations she owns just isn’t good enough, she dashed back to her phone and quickly punches in a number. 

“Dwyer speaking.”

“Stop answering your phone like that,” Alex says, rolling her eyes. “You’re _both_ Dwyer, it’s confusing.”

“If you can’t tell my voice apart from Dom’s, you’ve got a bigger problem than how I take your calls,” Sydney says in a very Sydney-like way. 

“Whatever, help me choose something to wear.”

“For...?”

“Breakfast.” 

“A date? Girl, you’re _married_.”

“ _No_ , not a _date_ ,” Alex says. She pauses, realizing she’s never asked Sydney for clothing advice when it didn’t involve a guy or girl she was interested in, but shakes her head as if to shake out her thoughts. “Not a date. Just a friend.”

“And you need to get dressed up for a friend because...?” 

“Stop interrogating me.”

“I asked two questions.” 

Alex hangs up. 

She feels bad immediately, but when her phone buzzes a minute later with a text from Sydney saying, _Your lighter distressed jeans with the shirt that has the rose stitched onto the breast pocket. Remember to cuff the sleeves!!!!_ , she knows Sydney understands. 

She takes the fastest shower of her life, and is out of the bathroom with her hair in a towel in ten minutes. She trips over Blue, grabs her clothing, and face plants onto her bed while trying to tug on her skinny jeans. 

After much huffing and puffing, she finishes dressing, but checks traffic and realize she’ll need to leave at approximately _right now_ if she wants to get there on time. Cursing, she scoops up her UC Berkely lanyard, throws her hair into a messy bun, and dashes out the door.

She feels her nerves rising the whole way over, but when she drops into the seat in front of Kelley, she finds all her anxiety is gone. “You look tired,” Alex observes. 

“Thanks, it’s the sleep deprivation.”

“Why were you awake so late?” Alex asks. She closes her menu, already knowing what she wants, and stirs another sugar into her mug. 

“Work,” Kelley shrugs. “Out with some co-workers.”

“What is it that you do, exactly?” 

Kelley looks at her with what Alex can only identify as a look of panic, but then Kelley just fixes that smirk that she’s so good at onto her face and says, “It’s a secret.” A pause. “So, what’s Servando up to today?”

Alex narrows her eyes at the not even close to subtle subject change, but replies, “He’s away for the next three days at a game. San Jose is playing Portland.”

“You don’t go to his games?” Kelley asks curiously. 

“Nah,” she shakes her head. “I try to make as many as I can, and I go to all the important ones, like league play-offs or some national team ones, but it’s not always doable, and he understands.”

“He sounds like a really good guy,” Kelley says. Her tone is earnest, like she genuinely means it, but the underlying message Alex gets from it is sadness. 

It seems to be a common theme with her. 

They order, and, hoping to cheer Kelley up, Alex says brightly, “Rose said you play a sport.”

“Yeah, it’s kinda like soccer,” Kelley says. Then she adds, “But it’s not.” Alex arches an eyebrow, hoping for more of an explanation, but Kelley just wiggles her own eyebrows and says, “Another secret.” 

She huffs. “You have a lot of secrets, Ms. Kelley O’Hara. When do I get to know them?”

A pause. 

Kelley’s eye twitches. 

And then, “That’s a secret?”

Kelley dissolves into laughter as Alex tries and fails to reprimand her, but almost like flicking on a switch, Kelley’s tone turns serious, and there’s no humor when she leans forward slightly. “To be honest? Soon. I hope.” 

Knowing she won’t get a response, Alex doesn’t question it, though she’s utterly confused. The conversation flows easily again after that, however, and Kelley’s bubbly self is back as she hugs Alex goodbye. 

“This is nice,” Alex sighs. She blushes, a little embarrassed at how openly needy she is, but it’s no secret she’s an affectionate person, and she figures Kelley might as well get used to it. 

“It is,” Kelley agrees. She pulls away and says, “I expect to see you every single day, Ms. Alexandra Carrasco.”

Alex wrinkles her nose. “Not even. It’s just Morgan. And how did you know my full name, anyway? I never told you that.” 

“Didn’t take his last name?” Kelley asks, blatantly ignoring her second question. 

“Alex Carrasco just didn’t feel right,” she shrugs. “I asked him if it was important to him, because I’m sure I would have gotten used to it, but he said it was my choice.” 

“Well, I’m glad,” Kelley says. She loops a lock of Alex’s hair around her finger. “You’re right, Alex Carrasco doesn’t sound right.” 

The two finally said goodbye with a “See you tomorrow!” tossed over Kelley’s shoulder, and though Alex kind of thought she was kidding, for the next two weeks, they do see each other every day. 

They get meals at all the little hole-in-the-wall places Alex knows, like her favorite taqueria and the amazing sandwich shop just a ten minute walk from her house. She’s delighted to find that food is a great bonding activity to do with Kelley. 

On Alex’s day off, they go for a whole day hike up near Half-Moon Bay, and when their time is limited, they take quick jogs around the Dish. A trip to Half-Moon Bay, however, means a trip to the beach.  After stopping at Whole Foods on the way over, they pack a picnic lunch and, after their hike, head down to the coast. The water is cold, as always, but the sun is shining and the sand is warm. Alex discovers that Kelley is pretty much a natural at soccer, and can’t believe they just happen to enjoy all the same things.

One weekend, they even go up to San Francisco to walk around the Mission District just because Alex wanted to show Kelley Clarion and Balmy. They spend nearly two hours looking at the beautiful murals and a long analysis of each one proves Kelley is as intelligent as she is beautiful. 

On this particular day, they’re walking Blue and Kelley’s dog, Brooklyn. The two puppies got along surprisingly well, considering both came from shelters, and walk on leash better when they’re together. 

“I can’t even tell you the last time Brooklyn was this well behaved on a walk,” Kelley sighs. She glances down at the little pit bull mix heeling almost perfectly with Blue right next to her. 

“Me too,” Alex agrees. “This boy is a big sniffer. Stops for everything; we could take a thirty minute walk and only be one block away. I guess Brooklyn is interesting enough for him.”

Kelley swings the shopping bag in the hand that’s not holding the leash and says, “Do you always make dinner for Servando when he comes back from games?”

Alex shrugs. “Most of the time. I like to cook, we both like to eat, it works out pretty well.”

She releases Blue from his leash as she unlocks the front door, and both dogs dash inside after Kelley does the same. 

“So, what’s cookin’?” Kelley asks, beginning to unpack the bag she’d carried. 

“You know that you were there when we bought the ingredients, right?” Alex says. She starts a pan going with some olive oil, and slides a cutting board out. 

“Yeah, but I forgot already,” Kelley says. 

“Spaghetti Bolognese and salad with brownies for dessert, and wine. of course,” Alex recites. “Both of our favorites.”  

“Well, what can I do to help?” Kelley asks. 

“How do you feel about chopping onions?” Alex rolls her one from the bag and points to the wooden knife holder. “A little less than half of one, diced please.” 

Kelley salutes and goes to work as Alex starts some chocolate melting in a double boiler. 

“You know,” she says, “I didn’t know you liked to cook.” 

Alex glances up, surprised. “There’s a lot you don’t know, we’ve only known each other a few weeks.”

Kelley gives the onion a slightly more aggressive than necessary slice and says, “Right. I guess I forgot. It seems like I've known you forever.” 

Alex adds the sugar and stirs thoughtfully. “I have to admit, I feel the same way,” she confesses. 

“Really?” Kelley seems to perk up as she scoops the onion into the pan and starts on the celery. 

“Yeah,” Alex says. “It’s just so easy to talk to you. I feel like you just... get me. Does that make sense?” 

Kelley nods, smiling a little bitter sweetly and let’s out a hushed, “Yeah.”

“I’ve never had it this easy with anyone else,” Alex muses. “Where have you been all my life?”

With a quick chop, Kelley just shrugs. 

Nearly an hour later, Kelley is just straining the noodles in a colander when the doorbell rings. Alex scurries off to go answer it, and, as expected, is rewarded with Servando standing in the doorway. 

He smiles into their hug, and soothingly whispers, “Hey, Al,” into her ear. Then, he announces, standing straight up, “Something smells good.”

“I made our favorite,” Alex says proudly, as she leads him inside. 

Blue and Brooklyn trot over with the latter puppy staying back a bit cautiously, but Servando gives them both scratches. “Who is this? Did you get another dog?” 

His tone is teasing, but to be fair, Alex _would_ , so she says, “Don’t worry, Serv, she’s Kelley’s puppy.” 

“Kelley?”

She frowns slightly. “I told you about her a bunch of times. She’s Rose’s aunt, I met her at the birthday party I helped at.”

“Rose is one of your kids, right?” Servando says, snapping his fingers like he’s trying to recall it. 

“Uh, yeah,” she says with a slight laugh. ”I only talk about her, like, every day? My star player?”

“Right. Of course,” he says, like ‘oh, how could I forget?’ but when he smiles at her, she can tell he doesn’t really remember. 

They wander into the kitchen, where Kelley is just keeping things warm. “Hi!” she greets cheerfully. “You must be Servando, I’m Kelley. It’s so nice to meet you, I’ve heard a lot about you.”

They shake hands as he jokes, “All good things, I hope.”

“Of course,” she says, though Alex can tell her disposition is forced. There’s a brief silence, and then, “Well, I'll go collect Brooklyn, and then I can get out of your hair and let you guys enjoy dinner.”

“No!” Alex almost yells. She flushes, but corrects herself, “I mean, no. Stay. You helped so much, it’s only fair.”

Kelley shifts back and forth on her feet. “I don’t know. You don’t mind?”

“Of course not,” Alex says, though she knows Kelley wasn’t really talking to her. 

“We’d love to have you,” Servando says. 

She still doesn’t look convinced, so Alex tries, “I can’t let you break up Blue and Brooklyn so fast.” She knows it’s not fast at all, they’ve been together all day, but it does make Kelley finally cave. 

“Alright,” she agrees. 

After setting and dishing and serving, the three take their seats at the dining room table. 

It’s completely silent. 

“So...,” Kelley starts. “Servando. Alex tells me you play professional soccer.” 

“Yup!” he says proudly, taking a bite of his pasta. “It’s a lot of fun.”

“Yeah, I bet.”

And that’s the end of that. 

After nearly an hour of it, Kelley excuses herself, claiming she has an early start the next morning. Alex knows it’s not true, but can’t challenge it,so she walks both her and Brooklyn to the door, and the two of them hug again. 

“Sorry it was so awkward,” Alex says, a bit embarrassed. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Kelley says dismissively, waving her off. “I had fun. And if we’re going to be friends, I expect I’ll see a lot more of him, so it’s only right for me to get to know him.”

“I suppose,” Alex agrees. 

“I really do have to go,” Kelley says, “but I’ll call you tomorrow?” 

Alex nods with a quick smile, and shivers as she shuts the door behind Kelley. She makes her way back into the kitchen where Servando is getting started on the dishes. 

“I like Kelley,” he says. 

“I’m glad,” she replies. 

Silence. 

“Is there something wrong?” he asks, wiping a plate dry. 

Alex sighs and says, “No. Well, yes, but it’s not your fault.”

“Tell me.”

“I just wish you guys got along easier,” she admits. 

“What do you mean? We didn’t fight or anything, we got along fine.” He looks genuinely confused, and Alex feels guilt settle in her stomach as she joins him at the sink. 

“It’s not that, it’s just... it was a little awkward.” 

“Don’t worry.” It’s Servando’s turn to be dismissive towards her. “It’ll just take some time. It always does when you meet someone new.”

“Yeah,” Alex says. “I guess.” She doesn’t mention that she grew closer to Kelley faster than anyone she’s ever been friends with in her entire life, and she definitely doesn’t mention the “good night” text she receives from her a few minutes later, or how happy it makes her, despite only knowing Kelley for a few weeks.

It scares her, but at the same time, it feels right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> psa!! clarion and balmy are 2 pretty famous alleys in the mission district of sf that have a ton of murals and artwork done on it. it’s really beautiful and usually has some kind of message/meaning in it. check it out if ur ever in sf and hmu if you need stuff to do!!
> 
> also i dont rlly edit or revise rip so sorry for mistakes
> 
> \-- evan (jessieflemlng on tumblr)


	5. chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sry for the late update i Succ

**Second Year - November**

 

A thud brings Kelley a much wanted distraction. 

Alex has dropped her bag into the the center of the table, and is standing with her hands on her hips. 

“Alex,” Christen whines. She looks up reproachfully  from where she’s begun color coding Kelley’s schedule, only to find Alex looking at her in a similar way. 

“ _Christen_ ,” she mimics. She eyes the pages of parchment strewn across the library table. “I thought you said you finished your homework two days ago.”

“I did,” Christen says. “This is next week’s.”

“Well,” Alex says, “You have fun with that.” She turns to Kelley, and her tone takes a considerably more excited tone as she says, “It’s time for Quidditch practice!”

Kelley springs up from her chair as Christen says, “But we haven’t finished with your schedule!”

She sighs. “Chris, I really appreciate it, but you know I’m just going to do my homework at the last second anyway.” 

“You and Julie both,” Christen says a little sourly.

Despite being in the same House, the two Ravenclaws couldn’t be more different. Christen does her homework not just by the due date, but sometimes before it’s even assigned, while Julie doesn’t even complete hers half the time because she’s so busy researching for her own side projects. Christen wakes up early every morning to organize her school bag and ensure her appearance is neat and tidy, while Julie is always sleeping in because she often stays up too late reading books about obscure mythical creatures nobody even knows exists. 

“At least she’s stopped getting detention,” Kelley snickers. 

Nothing but a grumble escapes Christen as Alex looks equally confused and delighted at this newfound fact about her favorite Ravenclaw. “Detention?”

“Oh, yes,” Kelley grins. “Julie is an incredibly smart person. Like, smarter than Christen--don’t hit me! It’s not mean if it’s _true_!” A pause. “Anyway, she’d do this thing where she’d pick a fight with a teacher over nothing and win, so the teachers got mad and sent her out.”

“Can they even do that?” 

Kelley shrugs. “I don’t know, but I’d give her detention, too, if I could.”

“Kelley!” Christen chastises. She huffs, but gathers up Kelley’s papers and packs up her friend’s bag for her. “Go play your ball game--”

“Quidditch.”

“--and have _fun_.” 

Kelley drops a kiss into Christen’s forehead and then grabs Alex’s hand and leads their dash to the field. They get lost twice because the stairs have changed and Kelley refuses to slow down long enough to figure out the new route, but they make it there eventually. In their respective locker rooms, they change quickly into practice clothes, and Kelley levitates her broomstick at her side as she pulls on her gloves. 

Her new Nimbus 2001 is far better than the old school broom she’d been borrowing, but her lack of improvement at Seeking showed it wasn’t really the equipment at all that had been holding her back from winning at the scrimmaging practice against Slytherin.

“Let’s warm up,” Alex says. As usual, she holds out her roll of pre-wrap, and, as usual, Kelley declines. She shrugs and mounts her broom, kicking off towards one of the goal posts.

They take a few regular laps and a few diving laps, and then Alex leads them to the ground and produces a small bag of golf balls. 

“Are you going to throw those at me?” Kelley asks. She eyes the dense little white balls warily. 

Alex rolls her eyes and says, “ _No_.” Then, she cocks her head and frowns. “Well, actually, yes. You’re going to turn around and stay there until I tell you to turn around, which I’m going to do as soon as soon as I’ve thrown a golf ball. You have to find it and catch it before it hits the ground. If it lands before you touch it, it’ll turn red.”

“You really think I’m ready for this kind of challenge?” she asks doubtfully.

“Of course,” Alex says. She raises an eyebrow, but when Kelley’s uncertainty doesn’t waver, she sighs and says, “Kel, you already have the athleticism and knowledge of the game. You just need the practice about the specific position.”

“I guess.” She can’t believe she’s really showing Alex all of the insecurity about her Seeking skills, especially considering Alex literally has no faults, but for some reason, she just feels comfortable around her.

The instant closeness surprises her; she’s only ever had this type of friendship with Christen, but it proves helpful when just a quick, encouraging smile from Alex calms her nerves and clears her mind. She’s barely even nervous when she floats away with her back to Alex, but her senses are still on high alert as she waits for the word “go.”

“Ready?” Alex’s voice is faint, but Kelley tosses her what she hopes appears as a thumbs up. 

She’s waiting for what feels like an hour, but after a brief silence, she hears Alex’s cheery voice again calling for her to turn around. 

Kelley spins so roughly she almost falls off, but collects her balance and beigins her hunt for the golf balls. Alex has used some sort of charm on them to cause each one to be thrown farther and fall slower. Still, it might not be slow enough. 

Kelley spots two hanging out all the way over by the goal posts. As soon as she darts off to get those, she spies another floating down closer to the ground. She makes a split second decision and darts down. After momentarily grabbing onto the golf ball, she lets it drop and swoops upwards to catch the other two. 

The charm seems to wear off as soon as Kelley’s skin comes in contact with the balls, because they hurtle to the ground at what would be the normal speed. Still, none turn red as they land, and Kelley scans the field from her vantage point near the goalposts.

She spies two at opposite ends of the field, and again, opts to go for the lower down ones first. As soon as she’s collected both of them and let them drop, she spots one only five feet from the ground. 

There are almost tears in her eyes from the wind she’s creating around herself as she hurtles towards it, but manages to stretch out a hand while trying to stay as flat as she can against the handle of her broom. Her muscles are screaming at her, and she watches in frustration as the golf ball drops to the ground just a few inches shy of her reach.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Alex says encouragingly as she skids to a stop with her toes in the sand.

The golf ball is slowly turning a rich red color, and does nothing but fuel Kelley’s rage. Refraining from punching the nearest person, because the nearest person is one of her favorite people on Earth, she clenches her jaw and kicks at the golf ball. 

“Kel, it’s okay,” Alex says softly. 

“I didn’t get one of them,” she says obviously.   
  
“But you _almost_ did,” the Slytherin says. She takes both of Kelley’s hands in hers and reaches up to brush away a few strands of hair that have come loose. “And next time, you will.”

She squeezes her eyelids shut and the reduced visual sensory input instantly calms her down.

_ Deep breath.  _

The faint vanilla swirling in the wind from Alex’s hair is one of the most relaxing scents she’s ever smelled, and the cool crisp air as she inhales slowly helps dampen the fire she feels building in her chest.

_ Exhale.  _

Her eyes open, and she finds Alex already looking earnestly into hers. “You’re right.”

Two days later she starts against her first game against Ravenclaw. 

She’s dressed in her game robes with her gloves tucked into the waistband of her pants as she eats the bit of food Christen has all but forced upon her. She picks at a bit of potato, but the twisting of her stomach refuses the food she knows she needs. 

After just a few minutes, she sees Becky come retrieve the Ravenclaw team, and five minutes later, Lauren comes to call for Gryffindor. Gratefully abandoning her food, she waves to her friends as they all toss her a very wide range of questionably encouraging comments, and purposefully sweeps by the Slytherin table on her way out.

Alex is waiting in the aisle with smile on her lips and a bounce in her feet. Sitting across from her and eyeing the exchange warily is a fellow Slytherin, Sydney Leroux. 

“Hey,” Kelley says. Her eyes trace over Alex’s face from the crinkle by her eyes to the movement of her lips as she smiles. On her way over, she’d planned to to say something cool and slick, but the words die in her throat, and she just asks quietly, “You gonna come watch?” 

She feels her cheeks burn as she attempts to keep her tone nonchalant, but the shifting of her body language reveals her nervousness, and Alex steps forward to throw her arms around Kelley’s neck without hesitation. “Of course,” she mumbles into her hair. The words are muffled, but the message is clear. 

“Good.” Kelley pulls away slightly to look into Alex’s eyes. “I need you there as my good luck charm.” 

“You don’t need luck,” Alex says, shaking her head. “ _But,_ just in case, I’ll be there.” 

There’s a pause.

Some silence. 

Then, “Oh!” Kelley hastily reaches into her bag and produces her scarf with a bright smile. “I brought this for you.” Her smile fades a little, and she says hesitantly, “You don’t have to wear it, though, only if you want to.”

“Let me try it on first and then decide,” Alex teases. She loops the knitted red and gold fabric around her neck and says, “Well, it’s soft and warm, but I’m not sure about the color... I’m more of a green girl myself.”

“Oh, any color is your color,” Kelley says, waving her away. “You look great.” 

“O’Hara!” 

The two snap their heads towards to the door only  to find Lauren waiting impatiently. She beckons to Kelley one more time, and the Gryffindor makes a face before squeezing Alex’s hand and trotting away. 

“Sorry, Cap,” she says sheepishly. “I got distracted.” 

“I could see that,” Lauren observes. “I heard Morgan’s been giving you some Seeking help.”

“Uh...”

“It’s okay. I mean, she’s incredible, so really the advantage is ours,” Lauren muses. “Anyway, I just heard the starting Seeker for Ravenclaw is sick, so they’re putting in their second string.”

“Is she good?” Kelley asks nervously. 

“Never even seen her play,” Lauren says with a shrug. When Kelley begins to look even  _more_ nervous she says, "That's a good thing, kid."

The two catch up to the rest of the team, and after everyone has finished their final touches on their uniforms, they gather around their Captain’s locker. Lauren slides on her gold armband that contrasts beautifully with the deep red of their robes, and eyes her team with a twinkle in her eye. 

“First game of the season, and we already know Ravenclaw’s off their game,” she says. “Starting Seeker is sick, so the playing field is more levelled for our newly converted one.” 

“Talk about taking it for the team!” Kailen calls out. 

Kelley just shrugs, but after the emotional turmoil she went through before even accepting the new position, it’s nice to be recognized. 

“Now, strategy,” Lauren instructs. “Remember that Ravenclaw plays a very strategic and planned out game. They execute plays flawlessly, but have a hard time diverting from what they haven’t practiced. And while they make fun of us for it, we’re bold and daring, and that helps us win because they’re easy to read and we aren’t.” She pauses. “O’Hara, lead team huddle.” 

Kelley’s eyes widen almost comically, but she recovers as quickly as she can and leans in. To her surprise, everyone else watches her intently; they don’t look at her like some kid.

She takes a deep breath and tries to think about what Alex would say to her. “If you go out there and try your best, then at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if we win or lose. We were almost unbeatable last year, and we can do that again. Listen to each other, don’t over think, and remember that this is the only the first of many matches his year.” The speech is mostly for herself, but Lauren is nodding encouragingly, so she sticks her hand into the middle. “Gryff on me, Gryff on three, one, two, three, _Gryff_!” 

They break after that, and Kelley almost topples over as everyone gives her a firm pat on the back. Lauren snorts, and says, “We gotta get some muscle onto you, kid.”

Already feeling her confidence being boosted just by the fact that the Seeker always walks out next to the Captain, she spots a speck of red in the sea of green in the Slytherin section, and feels her excitement swamp the growing anxiety building in her stomach. 

The game is physical from the beginning with Ravenclaw looking a hell of a lot different from last year. All of them look quite a bit more massive, with even the boniest freshman looking toned and strong. 

The day is overcast again, but Kelley tries to pretend this is just another one of Alex’s games they play. She shuts the other Seeker out of her mind and squeezes her eyes shut. 

_Take a deep breath._ Alex’s voice is clear in her mind, and she finds it’s nearly calming enough by itself; it doesn’t matter what she says. 

_Don’t worry about anyone else._ _All you need to do is your job._ And suddenly, the yelling of the Chasers and grunts of the Beaters with their bats fade into the background of the crowd that Kelley has long since learned to ignore. 

_Find the Snitch. It’s designed to go where you won’t look, so think outside the box._ Her eyes open, and after scanning the air for a split second, her right eye darts down, and she spies it taking laps around the ground just an inch from the sand. 

_Predict its next move._ It won’t keep taking laps, that’s for sure, and the only way it can go is up. 

_Stay firm, stay low to the handle, and don’t lose sight of your target._ Without even checking to see where the Ravenclaw Seeker is, Kelley turns and makes a beeline for the little golden ball. Just as she thought, it senses her coming and takes a turn up to the right. Kelley only has to shift her balance slightly for her broom to change course, and the longer she goes, the faster she flies. 

After a brief deliberation, Kelley sees the Snitch give up on outwitting her, and begin relying on speed. It zips around the goal posts with Kelley in pursuit, but by now, her position has been given away and the Ravenclaw Seeker is hot on her heels. 

They chase each other for nearly ten minutes around and around the stadium with Kelley after the Snitch and the Ravenclaw Seeker after Kelley. It’s only after the ten minutes has passed that Kelley realizes that despite having a better broom by miles, her opponent is barely keeping up, and for the first time, she starts to think they can win. 

And they do.

Almost on cue, as soon as Lauren slots away the Quaffle just a hair past Alyssa’s fingertips, her own hand closes around the little golden ball. 

Cheering begins, mostly from the sea of red, and the after the announcer confirms through the megaphone, the cheering grows louder and louder as her teammates swoop around her with elated grins on their faces. 

They take a victory lap with Kelley in the lead and Lauren right behind, and all she can do is drink in the moment. As a Beater she’d gone relatively unnoticed. Knowledgable fans of the sport can appreciate a good hit at a Bludger or a nice burst of speed from a Beater, but for the most part, it’s all about the Seekers.

And now it’s about her. It’s all about her. Lauren is yelling to anyone who will listen saying, “She’s a second year! A second year!” and Kailen is flying in a pattern that supposedly spells “O’Hara” and Gryffindor has taken up a chant that has her name in it and she feels so happy she almost falls off her broom.

It’s her time to shine, and the people are certainly letting her have it. Still, as she takes her third lap, all she can think about is Alex.

And suddenly, there she is. Wide eyed and grinning, voice even hoarser than usual, and the familiar scent of vanilla that’s just so _Alex_. 

Kelley abandons the team and throws her arms around her neck. Into the gold and red striped scarf she murmurs, “My lucky charm.” Her arms are shaking as Sydney gives her a pat on the back that’s a little more aggressive than necessary, but Alex clasps their hands together to steady her. 

She expects Alex to say something like “you didn’t need me” or “it was all you,” but it ends up being none of the above. In a hushed whisper meant for Kelley only, she breathes out, “Always.”

 

November comes and goes, and all of a sudden it’s December. 

“Tomorrow is actually my birthday,” Alex says shyly. 

“What?” Kelley sits up and Alex’s head falls from her stomach to her lap. 

She grumbles but sighs and says, “Yeah.”

“Why didn’t you _tell_ me?” Kelley asks, almost desperately. “I didn’t get you anything and I didn’t plan a celebration and I don’t even--”

“Hey, it’s fine.” Alex cuts her off with a gentle press of her index finger to Kelley’s lips. It’s pretty effective. She brushes back a lock of hair because unlike Alex, Kelley is always a mess, and says, “I didn’t tell you because, well...” she looks down for a minute and then mumbles, “I’m turning fourteen.”

A pause.

Alex studies Kelley’s face as the wheels turn in her head, and suddenly it hits her. “ _Oh_.” Everyone else turns thirteen in their second year. They start school when they’re eleven, but most, if not all, turn twelve during the year or the summer before the next so they’re twelve when they begin their second year. 

She cocks her head to the side and realizes that, yeah, Alex does look quite a bit older than everyone else. She’s begun to lose the baby fat in her cheeks that everyone else seems to still have, some more than others, and her height is above almost their entire year. 

Kelley’s first instinct is to blurt out some dumbass thing to try and ease the tension, but she senses that’s not what Alex wants. She takes a deep breath, tangles her fingers in a bit of Alex’s dark hair, and asks softly, “Why?”

Alex stiffens, but closes her eyes and Kelley watches her attempt to relax into her as she furrows her eyebrows. “My parents didn’t want to send me to school. So they didn’t. But it turns out you can’t do that because that’s how a lot of, um, Death Eaters grew in number.”

Of course, Kelley already knows this; they study the atrocity of Lord Voldemort to to make sure the “cleansing” of Muggle borns and half-bloods never happens again. Lots of Death Eaters homeschooled their children to ensure they never got educated to see another side of things, and the ones who let their kids go to school were so horrible for the first eleven years their children were brainwashed from birth. 

“Eventually they had to, right?” Kelley asks, hoping she’s not pushing. 

“Right,” Alex agrees. “So, Beauxbatons. But I told them how miserable I was, and they said that I could go to Hogwarts. That was a miracle in itself, but Sydney’s parents promised them that she would keep me ‘pure.’”

Kelley almost shivers at that word and its incredibly negative meaning in the wizarding world. Alex notices and tugs gently on her sleeve. “Don’t worry, Kel. I’m not like them.”

“I know,” Kelley says. They’d never talked about it before, though it had been staring them in the face for a while. 

“Really? ‘Cause I don’t want--”

“It’s okay, Al.” Now it’s Kelley’s turn to interrupt. “I mean it.”

“Alright,” she says finally. She lets out a big breath and lets her whole body weight fall into the curve Kelley’s body makes as she props herself up against a pillow. “Well, on top of that, they’d tell me every year I had to continue the pureblood line and that my birth was their legacy. So, I kinda hate my birthday now.”

Kelley frowns. “You shouldn’t. Let’s make it a happy occasion.” 

“How do you plan to do _that_?” Alex asks warily. “You’ve got thirteen years of bad memories to make up for.”

“Well, Chris turns thirteen next week,” she says thoughtfully. “Let’s do a joint birthday party!”

“Do you really think she’ll be okay with that?” Alex asks. “I don’t think she likes me very much.”

“She does,” Kelley assures her. It’s not completely true, but any negative feelings Christen has come from stupid rumors spread by people with too much time.

“Okay then.” Kelley almost launches herself across the room she’s so excited, but Alex says through a fit of laughter, “Only if she says yes!”

One promise to use Christen’s color coded schedule for the rest of the school year is all it takes for her to agree wholeheartedly, which is how they all find themselves at the lake on one fine Sunday afternoon.

The decorations are decent at best, and Kelley curses herself for letting Emily be in charge of that. She’s busy trying to figure out how the Hufflepuff could have possibly spelled “happy” wrong when Tobin saunters over. 

“Hey.” 

“Hey, Tobs. Excited?” Kelley asks. 

Tobin looks more nervous than excited as she says, “I guess.”

“What did you get Christen?”   
  
Again, the Hufflepuff starts looking more and more nervous as she says, “Uh, I’m, uh, actually gonna give her a planner?”

“You’re not sure...?”  
  
Kelley almost feels bad about being such an asshole, but she’s never seen Tobin “cool, calm, and collected” Heath this nervous before, and she’s living for it. She blushes and says, “Well, I managed to copy all of her stuff into it already with the colors and everything so it’s just like her old one, but I got it in a Muggle style she talked about before. You know, black leather with her name stamped in gold.”

“Why are you so nervous about it?” Kelley wonders. “She’s gonna love it.”

Tobin sighs and buries her face in her hands. She mumbles something, but all Kelley can make out is “mistake.” After a brief silence she repeats, “I made a mistake.” Kelley arches one eyebrow in silent question. “Under the “to do” section of the page for January tenth, I wrote “Say yes to Tobin.”

“Yes to what?” 

Tobin stares at her incredulously before deadpanning, “I’m gonna ask her on a date.”

“What?” Kelley almost pulls an Alex and has to refrain from physically bouncing on her toes as she says, “That’s not a mistake, that’s awesome!”

“Really?”  
  
Her Hufflepuff friend seems to perk up quite a bit as she says, “Yeah, dude! You got this.” 

“Okay.” Tobin has this dumb grin on her face, but Kelley can’t bring herself to say anything mean because it’s the happiest she’s ever seen her. She wishes she had, though, because a few seconds later Tobin’s smile turns sly. “Surprised you haven’t done the same for Alex.”

“Shut up,” Kelley says. She rolls her eyes and shakes her head, but at some point, it doesn’t really feel like a joke. 

Still, she pushes it out of her mind, and the rest of the afternoon is pretty much perfect. Sydney and Julie guide Christen and Alex blindfolded from their dorms, and for some reason they both look actually surprised, even though they knew it was coming. 

There’s food that Tobin got from the kitchen elves after some heavy bribing and loads of sweets Lauren brought back from Hogsmeade. Christen and Alex discover they're the only two that actually enjoy pumpkin pasties and begin to bond over that. They end getting along _too_ well for Kelley's liking, and Kelley and Tobin watch sourly from the sidelines. Pumpkin pasties aren't even that good. 

Emily succeeds in keeping the energy up for hours, but eventually, the night winds down and everyone curls up on blankets around a fire. 

The bright orange sunset turns the evening cool, but with Alex in her arms, Kelley is warm. “Happy birthday,” she whispers.

“Thank you,” Alex says softly. “Mission accomplished.”

“Hm?”

“Whenever I think of my birthday, I’m going to think of this.” She presses a soft kiss to the hand curled by her shoulder and says, “It’s officially a happy date.”

“Good,” Kelley says. They’re silent for a moment, happily basking in the glow of the flames and murmurs of their friends, until Kelley says, “I got you something.”

“You didn’t have to,” Alex says with a blush.  
  
“I wanted to,” she says. “It isn’t here yet because my owl is slow, but I remembered you said Muggle school fascinates you. Not Muggle _studies_ , but the things that Muggles _study_ , like science and stuff. So I asked my mom to send me this Muggle documentary series called _Planet Earth_ with a small thing to play it on. I, uh, thought we could watch it together.”

“What?” Alex gasps so loudly she draws the attention of a few of the people around them until her face falls. “Kel, Muggle stuff doesn’t work at Hogwarts.”

Kelley shrugs. “Julie figured out a spell to re-enable them. Tricks the boundaries into thinking we’re outside of them even though we’re not.”

“ _Julie_!” Christen chastises from where she’s sitting pressed against Tobin’s side. 

“What?” Julie holds her hands up in self-defense. “I’m just using my Ravenclaw talent.”  
  
“Amen,” Kelley agrees. 

“Thank you,” Alex says. Again, they're words just for her. Her tone is soft but her eyes are bright and full of excitement, and despite only knowing her a couple months, Kelley already knows she’d go to the end of the Earth for her. 

The realization combined with the emotion that inevitably accompanies it scares her, but at the same time, it feels right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope u liked this?? stuff is boutta get exciting!! kind of. i'll try to write a shit ton over thanksgiving break instead of studying for the sat ;)
> 
> \-- evan (jessieflemlng on tumblr)


	6. chapter six

**Thirteen Years Later**

 

Alex is flying. 

It takes a second for it to register in her mind, but the fact that she’s floating at least fifty feet above the ground and zipping around like a firefly kind of gives it away. 

Briefly, she recognizes that this realization of flight should cause a little bit more interest to her as she’s not really sure why or, more importantly, _how_ she’s doing it, but she’s flying anyway, and she figures she might as well just enjoy it.

The air is chilly, but there’s nothing except excitement coursing through her as she surveys the scene laid out in front of her.

All around, calling out to each other and swooping in and out of the air are other people flying around. Some look familiar, some don’t, others she’s sure she’s met before, but when she tries to think about from where, her mind draws a blank. Half of them are dressed in dark green and half are donning a rich maroon. She has to stifle a giggle at how odd the outfits are, but she figures she’s seen worse. 

Alex doesn’t _actually_ know what’s going on, but it seems to be some kind of game with the two colors representing the two sides. There are a few different balls flying every which way with two of them looking particularly threatening, but she doesn’t know what any of it means. 

Still, it seems her body does.

She knows she’s supposed to be looking for a little gold ball, but a larger leather one comes sailing towards her thrown by someone wearing red, and on instinct, she darts forward and catches it. Diving away, her body acts on its own and she launches a strangely well timed pass to a player in green.

Someone throws her a thumbs up, but she somehow understands that throwing that ball isn’t her job, so she tries to focus on hers.

After a few minutes of mindlessly floating around and watching the game that sparks a strange resemblance to soccer, she spies a little flicker of shining metal out of the corner of her eye.  Frowning, her head turns to follow it, and she registers a little golden ball with wings. _Little golden ball... Bingo_. 

Without thinking, she dives after it and it’s like nothing she’s ever experienced before. She’s going much faster than she or anyone can run, and it’s like cruising down an empty freeway with the windows rolled down.  Except, she’s not in a car, and doesn’t want to think about what would happen if she plumeted towards the ground at this speed. 

Her worry evaporates as she remembers her body knows what to do, and she sees herself stretch out one arm covered with black fingerless gloves and a dark green sleeve to reaches for the little golden ball. Right as she’s about to close her fingers around it, her eyes open.

_ Ceiling light. _

_ Cool sheets.  _

_ Bed. _

_ Cool wetness. _

_ Blue.  _

Her body seems to wake up before her mind, and eventually she realizes she’s lying in bed with the sun streaming in through a window she forgot to cover the night before.

Blue is nudging her hand with his nose, which is probably what woke her. A strange sense of sadness creeps in, and it feels like the time she had a dream it was snowing, but woke up only to find that, no, Southern California had _not_ become a winter wonderland overnight. She’d actually cried, and so her mom blasted the AC and they curled up in front of a fire with hot chocolate for the rest of the afternoon. 

Of course, she had been seven. 

She’s _twenty_ -seven now, and the actual physical ache in her chest she feels hits her completely out of the blue. She sighs, but rolls over into the empty space where Servando is not to grab her phone. 

Nothing.

With a deflated sigh, Alex flops onto her back and mopes for no real reason.

After ten minutes of melodramatic lying down, her phone buzzes once. Peering down, she wakes up the screen and is just able to make out a text from Kelley.

_ Breakfast?  _

Thirty minutes later she’s greeting Kelley with a hug and sitting down at a cafe table. 

“I hope I didn’t interrupt anything,” Kelley says after they’ve placed their order. “I didn’t know if you had plans today or not.”

“Oh, no,” Alex says, waving her away. “It’s my off-day from coaching and Servando is away again with the national team.”

“He goes away a lot,” Kelley muses. 

Alex just shrugs and says, “It comes with the job.”  A barista slides two mugs and a plate with a cinnamon roll onto the table, and Alex takes a long drink before asking, “How’s Rose doing? You know, outside of soccer.”

“Good, I think,” Kelley says. “I haven’t seen her much lately, busy with work, but I heard she’s also started learning to play the guitar. You have any nieces or nephews?”

“Nah,” Alex says. “I mean, not technically. I have a friend Sydney who’s like a sister, so her son Cassius is kind of like my nephew.”

“Sydney?”

“Yeah, do you maybe know her?” Alex asks curiously. Kelley’s eyes are wide, and it would be comical if it wasn’t such a strange reaction.

“Uh, no, I don’t think so,” Kelley says. She pauses. “Tell me about her.”

“Well, I don’t know where to begin,” Alex laughs. “I’ve known her just about forever. She moved from Canada in the middle of the year back in middle school, and I saw she played soccer so I just said hi to her and we became friends from that.”

“It was just natural, right?” Kelley asks.  
  
“Exactly,” Alex agrees. 

There’s a brief silence filled with some aggressive chewing from Kelley who’s taken a very large bite of the cinnamon roll. Then, “It kind of feels like this friendship.”

Almost unconsciously, Alex cocks her head to the side. “I suppose so,” she admits.

“I mean, if you really think about it, we’ve known each other for a little while, but have only ever actually talked or been friends for couple months, right?” It almost sounds like Kelley is quizzing Alex on a test or something, but her body language is casual.

“Yeah, that’s true,” Alex says. “I guess you’re just easy to be around. Easy to talk to. It’s exactly like I’ve known you forever, I just don’t have the memories to back that up.”

“No,” Kelley agrees softly. 

“But that’s okay,” Alex says with a smile, “because I sense we’re going to be friends for a while, so who cares if we didn’t _actually_ know each other our whole lives?”

“Exactly.” 

This happens at least once a week, but Alex always just lets it go. Something will drive their conversation back around to their friendship, and Kelley gets sad. It’s like she’s on autopilot just agreeing to everything Alex is saying. 

Kelley herself is just one big mystery with a lot of what Alex can only describe as hurt, for lack of a better word, and a lot of secrets, but she doesn’t mind. She just hopes that someday, she’ll share them with her.

A loud buzz breaks the tension, and both women jump a little. Alex lets out an exhale paired with a little laugh

“Sorry,” Kelley apologizes, checking the screen, “it’s my girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend?” Alex asks. She’s surprised, though she’s not sure why. Kelley’s funny and nice and charming and certainly as beautiful as she is bright, so of course she’d be dating somebody. If she’s being honest, she’s surprised the topic hasn’t come up earlier. 

“Yeah,” Kelley says. A faint smile drifts onto her face, and for a brief moment, the almost permanent echo of sadness in her eyes disappears. She types something into a text message before saying, “Christen. She just wants to know what my plan is tonight.”

“Oh,” Alex says. A creeping sense of doubt and selfishness overwhelms her, and she begins fiddling with her napkin to distract her. “If you have to go, that’s okay.”

“No, don’t worry about it,” Kelley says. She gives a brief dismissive wave and then repeats herself, “No, Christen isn’t like that.”

“Like what?”

“The kind of girlfriend who needs to occupy your attention all the time or who gets mad at you for spending time with other people,” Kelley explains. “We trust each other, it’s all good. She just cares about knowing because she likes to plan.”

“I didn’t mean to imply she was that type,” Alex apologizes quickly, taking a sip of her drink to hide her face. 

“You didn’t,” Kelley assures her. She shrugs a little. “I just wanted to tell you, I guess. Sometimes my friends feel guilty for taking up so much of my free time.”

“Well,” Alex laughs, “I have to admit I was feeling a little selfish for hanging out with you this much.” Then, as casually as she can, she says, “I didn’t know you were dating anyone.”

Kelley shrugs again. “It just didn’t come up.

“Is it serious?” Alex asks, hoping she’s effectively carrying on the facade of being nonchalant. For some reason, the idea of “Christen” makes her uneasy, but she can’t put her finger on why, and that begins her feelings of selfishness all over again.

Kelley sets down her phone and raises her cup to her lips thoughtfully. After a moment of decisiveness she says, “Yeah, I guess. It’s complicated.” 

“How so?” She tries not to push it, but at the same time she’s dying to know. _Curiosity really did kill the cat_ , she muses. 

“Well, we’ve been friends for forever,” Kelley says. The sadness lingering in her eyes blink out again as she begins retelling all of her childhood stories. “I met her when I was eleven and it was like an instant friendship. We’re so different, though,” she laughs.

“Well, you did mention she likes to plan,” Alex says with a small smile. 

“Oh, yes, the planning,” Kelley sighs. “She keeps making me color coded schedules that I don’t use, but one year she managed to get me to use it for a whole year. I asked a favor of her, and that was her one condition.” 

Despite it being what seems like a happy memory, the pain in Kelley’s eyes is back, but Alex can’t help herself and gently ventures, “So you were friends for a long time? Must be fifteen years now?” she asks, taking a guess on age.

“Yeah, about that,” Kelley agrees. “And we were true friends, too. Not the kind you go to for fun or just for a laugh or something. We were friends to the core.”

Alex really needs to get a grip on herself because the jealousy rising in her chest is seriously unhealthy, especially consider she’s got nothing on this Christen person when it comes to length of friendship. 

“When I was seventeen, I was in love with this girl,” Kelley says quietly. “Not Christen.” Her eyes flick up for a bit, but she looks away as soon as Alex meets them. “She was in love with me, too. She was perfect. I really think she was the one.”

“The one?” 

“The _one_ ,” Kelley repeats. “You know, the one who you just know is meant to be in your life forever, and even in the next one, if you believe that kind of thing.”

Alex doesn’t, but she knows exactly the kind of love Kelley’s talking about. 

“God, our friends hated us,” Kelley says with a little laugh. “We just fit each other so perfectly, and to this day I still don’t know how that happened. I loved everything about her from her terrible temper when she got competitive to the way she’d sneak into my room at night to cuddle just because she missed me. There wasn’t a single thing I didn’t completely adore about her just because it was so... _her_. I was almost blinded by it, but at the same time, we were able to identify faults and make each other better people.”

“That sounds incredible.” She isn’t really sure where all this came from, but Kelley can’t seem to stop and Alex doesn’t want her to.

“It was.” She becomes acutely aware that Kelley is avoiding eye contact with her, but the words just keep coming. “I loved her with every fiber of my being, and in return, she loved me back. That’s all she had to do, and she did it wonderfully.”

It’s only then that Alex realizes Kelley is telling her this whole thing in the past tense and that she specifically mentioned the girl wasn’t Christen. Swallowing but not feeling the lump in her throat go down, her voice is barely a whisper as she asks, “What happened?” 

Kelley blinks up slowly and her next sentence is full of so much hurt and confusion and anger and sadness and hopelessness that it feels like a punch to Alex’s heart. “I was told she died.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ik the ages dont really match up bc i didn’t want to do the math but it is very close?? hope this short update was ok!!
> 
> \-- evan (jessieflemlng on tumblr)


	7. chapter 7

**Third Year - summer before**

 

_Ali Cat!! I knew I would miss you, but I didn’t think it would be like this :( please come visit me!! Or let me visit you? Three months without seeing your face is a long time, and I don’t think I’ll make it tbh. Anyway, Christen arrived this morning and the rest of the Kidz are coming in a few weeks. We always spend a month at my place every summer and you are most certainly welcome to join the gang_

_Miss you <3 _

_Kel._

/

_Kelley,_

_I really want to come stay with you, but my parents won’t let me. I can’t even tell them your name or they might find out your parents are Muggles. I don’t care, of course, but you know how they are. I miss you more than anything, but I can’t risk your safety or your family’s safety. I’m sorry._

_Tell Christen I’m turning into her. I plan every second of my day out (like, literally, from waking up at 8:05 to showering at 8:09) because otherwise I’ll have nothing to do and I might run into my parents. They like lecturing me on the importance of purity and interrogating me about my friends at Hogwarts. I tell them I don’t have any, except Sydney. They tell me that’s not hard to believe._

_Love you._

_\-- Alex_

/

_Ugh, Al :(( I’m sorry they’re like that. And I understand, I completely agree that safety comes first. Buuuut I still miss you a lot, and I’m proud to call you my friend. Please don’t forget that. Do they at least ask you about school and Quidditch?? Sam and Nikki came in through the Floo Network last night and Nikki broke her arm :(( We took her to the Muggle hospital and everything, it was crazy. No Skele-gro here!!!!!_

_Love u always k bye_

/

_Kelley,_

_They do ask me, kind of. I told them about how we came in second in the House Cup, and they said congratulations, but their voices were monotone and their eyes were dead. The next morning, my dad told me we should have won._

_I’m so sorry to hear about Nikki, send her my best! Sounds like it’s a lot of fun over there. Wish I could come._

_\-- Alex_

/

_I wish you were here too Al. But it’s okay, only two more months, right? Then we have a full year without having to worry about anything except Potions class. Nikki’s fine, she had to stay in the Muggle cast for a few days, but then her mom apparated out a bottle of Skele-gro. That was fun (NOT). She’ll deny it but she shed a real tear (tho to be fair it’s painful as hell)._

_Miss you!!_

_Kel._

/

_Kelley!_

_Is the offer for me to stay with you still open? If so, say hi to your newest roommate! I asked my parents if I could go stay with Sydney for the summer, and they said yes. They think her parents are one of them. But! They’re not! Syd talked to her parents and they’ve agreed to cover for me this summer._

_Love you, miss you, see you soon?????_

_\-- Alex_

Kelley fumbles with the letter for a solid minute as Alex’s owl nibbles on some feed until she lets out a whoop and hurriedly scribbles out a messy letter. The white snowy owl dejectedly sticks out its leg to head back, but Kelley pats his head and sighs.

There’s no way this owl is going to survive flying all the way to Alex’s house right after getting to Kelley’s in the first place. Usually, Kelley lets the owl have a rest over night and then sends her reply back in the morning.

This note, however, needs to get there as soon as possible. She calls for her own owl, a scrappy little little northern hawk one named Finn that really needs to bulk up a bit, and sends him off with the bit of paper tied around his leg. He chirps at her and then flaps into the night. 

Then, there's nothing to do but wait. She sighs. Alex’s owl looks at Kelley suspiciously, as he always does.

“You hungry?” Kelley asks. Nothing. Not even a blink. She knows it's not like he's going to _talk_ to her, but she pokes his head gently and nudges him slightly towards Finn’s cage. He doesn’t move an inch. “Have a snack, Winston.”

Silence. Not even a wing twitch. 

“Dinner!” her mom calls from down stairs.

Kelley huffs and shrugs. “Fine, suit yourself.” He chirps in a much more aggressive manner than Finn’s goodbye. “Don’t be rude, I’ll send you home tomorrow.”

She trots downstairs and washes her hands quickly. Christen is setting the table with the knives and forks actually in the right places, and Nikki is helping slice vegetables without magic. 

Incredible.

Really, it’s just normal for Kelley, but as none of her friends were Muggle born, learning about their way of life has been interesting for everyone involved. Explaining what a mail truck was became a huge can of worms all by itself, Kelley didn't dare bring up phones or email.

Finally, the places are set, and Christen looks as proud of herself as always. Kelley’s mom compliments her and says for the millionth time, “Kelley never did that.”

“We get it, mom,” she says, rolling her eyes, “Christen is superior to me in almost every way.”

“Almost?” Christen asks indignantly.

“Your Quidditch skills are kind of terrible,” she says. Erin passes her the green beans and she says as casually as she can, “Also, Alex is coming.”

“Alex?” Erin asks with an arched eyebrow. “Like, Slytherin Alex?”

Kelley rolls her eyes. “ _Yes_ , but that’s not really important. She convinced her parents to let her visit Sydney, and Sydney’s parents offered to cover for her so she can come here.”

“I always thought Sydney was evil,” Emily muses. “Guess not.”

“You think _all_ Slytherins are evil,” Julie interjects.  
  
“Me too,” Erin decides.

“Can you not?” Kelley demands. “Be nice to her.”

“Well,” Kelley’s mom says, “ _I_ , for one, am glad to have another person in the house. I miss you all during the school year, it’s nice to have such a lively home in the summer.”

“The more the merrier,” Kelley’s dad agrees.

“It is interesting that you’ve never had a Slytherin friend before,” Christen admits. She neatly loads her fork using her knife and pops it into her mouth.

“Why?” Kelley scoops some food onto her own utensil using her index finger and sticks her tongue out at Christen who looks at her tool of choice disapprovingly.

“Very mature, KO,” she says.

“I do my best, Press.” Kelley points her fork at Christen and ignores Emily’s indignant claims that a bit of potato was thrown her way and says, “Besides, I’ve had Slytherin friends. Hope Solo, for example.”

“Hope is _not_ your friend,” Tobin snorts.

“She is definitely my friend!”

“She’s your _acquaintance_ ,” Christen corrects.

“Same thing,” Kelley says airily. Christen opens her mouth again, but Kelley cuts her off loudly before she can even start saying, “I know it’s not the same thing, Pressy.” Taking a deep breath, she says, “ _Anyway_ , I just wanted to let you know she’ll be here probably as soon as she gets my letter, and be nice to her.”

Alex arrives two days later with a trunk full of stuff and a nervous look on her face. Her hair is pushed back with the same pink headband as always, though she looks quite a bit older than when Kelley last saw her. 

She’d planned on playing it cool and greeting her with a fist bump the way she had when Sam had tumbled out of her fireplace, but one look at Alex’s anxious blue eyes is enough to kill that plan. Unabashedly, she throws her arms haphazardly around Alex’s waist and lifts her just the tiniest bit off the ground. “Missed you,” she breathes.

“You got a tan,” she mumbles into Kelley’s shoulder. Her arms rest in a tangle around Kelley's neck, and there's barely an inch between them as she pulls back to study Kelley's face.

“That I did,” she agrees. They stay there in their half-hug for what feels like eternity until a hoard of people come bouncing down the stairs saying, “Hi, Alex!” and “Welcome!”

“Hi,” she says, waving shyly.

“Let me get you set up, you can stay in my room,” Kelley says as casually as she can. She points upstairs. “I'm gonna just tell my mom you’re here, it’s the first door on the right.”

Despite Alex and Kelley being friends for basically their entire second year, their friend groups never really mixed. It was always Alex or her friends, not Alex _and_ her friends. Still, after a few awkward silences, their lively dinner proves that there was really no reason Alex hadn’t been included before. Emily makes a Slytherin joke, and while Alex’s smile fades slightly, when she eventually comes to realize it was all in fun, her grin doubles, and from then on, it’s like she’s been one of them the whole time.

Each morning, whichever girl wakes up first that isn’t Christen, because Christen is _always_  awake at the crack of dawn, makes it her duty to subtly make as much noise as possible. Usually, it’s Emily. Sometimes, it’s Sam. Often, it’s both of them. Kelley can't count the number of mornings she's spent groaning into her pillow as a loud crash jolts her awake followed by five minutes of giggling.

Kelley’s parents pretend to be annoyed, but secretly, they love it, which is why their reprimands are half-hearted at best and always ignored. The two make breakfast together with the girls doing pretty much nothing to help, and eventually, they all sit down to eat.

Breakfast is filled with delicious food and a radiating happiness of family that Kelley can see Alex has never known before. She takes it upon herself to make this the best summer she’s ever had.

And that’s not difficult. After breakfast, Kelley’s parents shoo them out so they can clean up. Erin and Jerry complain about being forced out because “we’re too old” but when Sam gives a curious kick at a stray soccer ball, they take it upon themselves to teach everyone the game. When it's clear that each girl is a natural, at least one scrimmiage becomes a daily occurrence.

“Can I help with dishes?” Alex asks softly. She’s lingered back under the guise of wanting to finish her orange juice, but now that she’s alone, she pauses at the door.

Kelley arches an eyebrow as her parents try to mask their surprise and say, “Sure, but you certainly don’t have to.”

“I want to learn the Muggle way,” Alex says. She hesitates, but begins stacking plates quickly.

Kelley reaches over to still her hands. “Like this,” she says with a small smile, showing her how to put all the silverware on the top plate so the dishes nest and don’t slide or fall. “The napkins are collected after because they’re washed with the towels.”

“In the machine?” Alex asks.

Kelley nods, “We can do a load later.”

Her parents throw her a silent question as the two girls bring the dishes into the kitchen, but Kelley just shrugs and mouths “free labor.” Her dad gives her a gentle swat on the arm with the towel he’s using, but steps aside when Alex heads towards the sink.

Kelley shows her how one side of the sink is filled with soapy hot water for the dishes to sit in and the other is where they scrub and rinse. She dries as Alex washes. Her parents eventually leave to go enjoy some quiet time, and Kelley puts away the last fork. “What was all this about?” she asks curiously.

Alex shrugs, but Kelley knows there has to be a reason, so she just waits. Eventually, the Slytherin says, “My parents hate Muggles so much. They say they’re inferior, that their way of life isn’t even worth living.”

Kelley knows Alex doesn’t believe that stuff, but hearing her say it is still a punch to the gut. She can’t imagine the mental strength it must have taken to resist that kind of brainwashing for the twelve years it took for her to escape to school.

“But that’s just not _true_ ,” Alex says. Her frustration is evident as she gestures around. “This house is the happiest home I’ve ever seen in my entire life. It has people who love each other. Our way of cleaning using magic may be faster, but watching your parents talking and laughing as they clean the dishes together after every meal is a moment my parents couldn’t even imagine having.”  

“I’m glad you like it here,” Kelley says carefully.

“Oh, my God, you don't even know. This is the best few days I’ve ever had,” Alex gushes. She sighs and looks around at the kitchen. “I wanted to try out the way Muggles do things, like the dishes, so I could try to understand why my parents think the way they do.” She shrugs helplessly. “But I _don’t_. I don’t understand it at all, and I couldn’t agree less.”

“Don’t go home next summer,” Kelley begs. She takes the whole kitchen in two strides and has her arms around Alex in the blink of an eye. “Come straight here, my parents would love to have you.”

“I can’t,” Alex whispers.

Kelley sighs, but she doesn’t argue. She just tugs Alex outside to play soccer in the sunshine because that’s all she can do. And it ends up being enough. Alex becomes a happy, laughing teenager who protests when Tobin nutmegs her and pumps her fists when she scores. As they're tucked into bed, Kelley studies Alex's sleeping face. It doesn't look any different, and she realizes that Alex didn't _actually_ look older at all the first day, she was just sad.

At the end of every night when dinner has been eaten and plates have been cleared and refilled at least three times, everyone retires to their rooms. Christen and Julie have been pushed into the guest room, Nikki, Sam, Tobin and Emily have a fort set up in the living room, and Alex has happily taken the invitation to share with Kelley.

It feels natural, sliding into pajamas and burrowing into blankets on Kelley’s bed. Sometimes they talk until the sun comes up and then power nap until Sam or Emily inevitably come bouncing in to get them up, and sometimes Alex is out before Kelley even turns off the light. No matter what, though, they wake with their legs tangled together and the top of Alex’s head tucked into Kelley’s neck.

A couple weeks before school begins, everyone except Alex goes back home, one way or another. Nikki’s mom comes to retrieve her, refusing to risk another broken arm via the fireplace, and Sam’s dad shuttles her and Tobin back in their flying car. Emily and Christen take the Floo Network in a great big smokey mess that Kelley wishes she could clean up with magic, and suddenly, the house is quiet again.

Erin and Jerry have gone back to college, and with all the empty bedrooms, there’s no reason for Alex and Kelley to be sharing anymore. Neither want to split up, but neither want to say it, so Alex shuffles her stuff into the guest room previously occupied by Christen and Julie.

With her eyes on the stars, Kelley rolls over in bed to the side that was once held by Alex. She almost misses her, despite the fact that she’s just down the hall, but when she inhales into the pillow there’s a lingering scent of vanilla that lulls her to sleep.

Their letters come from Hogwarts the next day. Kelley convinces her mom to let the delivery owls have a drink and a short rest before shooing them away, and her mom grudgingly agrees.

“I still don’t get the whole owl thing,” she grumbles. “Get a phone.”

The letters are the usual, just telling them which books they need and which supplies. A small note is written at the bottom signed by Headmistress McGonagall herself.

_NOTICE: Welcome back to another year, students. This is not meant to alarm you. On the contrary, we hope it eases the minds of you and your parents. This year, we will have Aurors stationed at Hogwarts all year long. They will patrol both during the daytime and the nighttime, so sleep soundly. Thank you, and I can’t wait to see you all at the welcome feast. MM._

“Aurors?” Kelley asks. “What for?”

Alex nibbles on her lower lip and looks down. “There’s, uh, a movement started by neo-Death Eaters to bring back Voldemort.”

“ _What?_ ” Kelley demands.

"I know."

"Tell me more," Kelley asks desperately. "Your parents must be in it, right?"

Alex winces at her tone, but says, “Yeah, but they don't tell me stuff. That’s all I know, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Kelley says, deflating. “I just didn’t think it would happen so soon.”

“Well, Voldemort’s followers are really mad and really powerful,” Alex says with a sigh. “They’re pissed at the ones who’ve been jailed. They think their free speech is being compromised.”

“They weren’t jailed for _saying_ stuff, they were jailed for what they did _after_ they said it. Like, uh, I don’t know, killing people?”

“I know, Kel,” Alex says softly. She touches her arm. “I know.”

The next day is a happier one with Erin supervising their annual trip to Diagon Alley. A service for Muggleborn students apparates them all out and taps the bricks to let them in. Alex stops them first at Potage’s Cauldron Shop so she can get the new pewter size two cauldron from the collapsible series, and Kelley pulls them all into Flourish & Blott’s to get their textbooks before they can get distracted.

Picking up two of each required book, Alex convinces Kelley to let her buy her textbooks as a thank you for letting her stay.

“I didn’t do it to get something in return,” Kelley says, but Alex begs and begs until she says, “Fine, on the condition that I buy you an ice cream.”

“Deal,” she agrees, sliding two copies of _Standard Book of Spells, Grade 3_ off the shelf.

They pick up a ton of sheets of parchment and a couple wells of ink, which fascinates Erin to no end. “Why not just use a pencil?”

Alex looks at her incredulously. “A _what?_ ”

Then, of course, comes Quality Quidditch Supplies.

The two go wild filling up an entire basket. Kelley gets a new pair of gloves she definitely doesn’t need, Alex gets the latest tin of broom handle polish despite barely ever using it the year before, and both have to talk the other out of getting an entirely new broom altogether.

“But look how fast it is,” Kelley says, pointing at the Firebolt 2. There’s a display one perched on a couple of hooks in front of a large poster of Ginny Weasley, professional player for the Hollyhead Harpies, zooming around a stadium.

“You don’t _need_ it though,” Alex says, “you just got a Nimubs 2001 last year.”

Ten minutes later she’s pointing at the Golden Arrow, a remake of an old series called the Silver Arrow. “Cho Chang says it’s the best broom she’s ever flown on. She says it can read your mind and turns before you even know you’re supposed to.”

“It doesn’t _actually_ do that,” Kelley says, rolling her eyes. “She’s paid to say this stuff.”

As a compromise, both girls purchase new boots with Alex claiming that it’s almost a safety hazard not to have the right footwear. Kelley agrees wholeheartedly despite knowing both she and Alex have bought pretty much identical shoes to what they wore last year.

A week later, Kelley barely even blinks twice as an Auror paces up and down the Hogwarts Express the the entire ride. There’s another in each carriage as they head towards the castle. Two guard the entrance to the Great Hall, and when Kelley retires to the Gryffindor common room, there’s four.

She should think about what it means, but she doesn’t.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soo just asking is this fic confusing in a good way or bad way?? like does it make u go “wow that is so weird i wanna keep reading” or “wow this is dumb as hell bye”??? it isnt confusing for me bc,, i wrote it & i know exactly what is happening w alex..so im wonderin how it’s being received by people who do not know what is going on
> 
> alsooo the song since we're alone by niall horan is a Big Mood for this fic & also the title so go listen to it pls his music is actually really good ok bye 
> 
> \-- evan (jessieflemlng on tumblr)


	8. chapter eight

**Thirteen Years Later**

 

For the second time that week, Alex dreams, and this time it’s a nightmare. 

She finds herself in a forest and as soon as the dream begins she almost loses her footing, as if she was just dropped into a body and has to take over what it was already doing. Scrambling over a tree root, she keeps pace with everyone around her as well as she can. They’re all holding something that Alex can only describe as a stick, though the name is on the tip of her tongue, and each one has a bright light illuminating their way as they run. Everyone around her is donning dark cloaks that billow around them as they run, and she can only imagine she’s wearing the same thing. 

They run for what seems like ages, at least twenty of them altogether. Her mind is confused, but her body feels strong and sturdy as she races towards an unknown goal. 

The scene changes.

She’s flying again, and this time, she takes note of the broom underneath her that allows her to do such a thing. 

Everyone is holding out their stick thing that Alex somehow knows has a name, though she can’t say what, and bursts of light spring from the tips. It looks kind of beautiful, like fireworks, but as the bits of light make contact with a person, screams of agony follow, and Alex realizes she’s in a battle. 

Her own hand wields one of the unknown weapons, and as if she’s being controlled like a puppet, she feels herself engaging with another person in a broom at least twenty feet away from her. 

She blocks and deflects the light coming from her opponent, and when the shot is clear, she sends a long stream of red. With a blood-curdling scream, her enemy writhes in the air before tumbling off his broom and crashing into the forest below. 

The scene changes. 

Still in flight, she swoops in and out of tree branches in a crowd of people. She doesn’t know where she’s going or why, but the swiftness of their speed and determination on their faces tells her that everyone else does. 

Below her, she spies a family roped to a tree. Both parents are bloody and in no position to do anything of use and a little boy is crying as his older sister reaches for him. She watches as the two siblings stretch out their hands just enough so their fingers brush. A lump forms in her throat, and she wants to free them. She begs herself to help or to ask someone around her to help, but her voice doesn’t work and neither does her body. 

They keep flying, but below  her are terrible scenes of death and destruction that she can only describe as the stuff of nightmares. 

An elderly woman lies on the ground with an old man clutching her hands, and Alex knows she’s dead. 

A house is on fire with screams of children coming from inside as men in black robes dance around the flames in delight. A father is bound with some sort of glowing chain, begging for them to spare his kids, but the men just flick their wooden weapons at him, and he falls onto his side, silenced. 

It goes on and on and on and on with each moment worse than the last. Alex wants to throw up or yell or scream or demand why the people around her aren’t doing anything to help, but she can’t. 

She just keeps flying. 

The scene changes. 

Alex sits on a chair in the middle of a large room. The walls are cavernous and there are endless rows of people watching her with disgusted looks on their faces.  For the first time, she feels connected to her body. Her heart is racing, and there’s a kind fear she’s never known before coursing through her. 

A man says something, but his voice is muddled, like she’s listening to him underwater. She strains to hear him, but it’s a fruitless attempt. 

She watches as people raise their hands solemnly, and the man continues speaking. He flips through a large book and it’s as if he’s making a decision right then and there. In a loud, booming voice, he says something slowly and loudly, and then nods once in confirmation. 

He steps down from whatever podium he was perched on, raises another one of the stick things to his throat, and murmurs something. When he speaks to someone behind him, his voice no longer is loud enough to reach Alex.

Waves of people begin clapping slowly and begin to disperse, but behind her she hears a torn voice scream, “No!” 

She twists in her seat as much as the invisible bonds that chain her will allow and sees a grief stricken woman who looks more like a teenager. She can’t be much older than eighteen, but the terror in her eyes and defeat in her shoulders adds years. 

The girl’s freckled face turns to meet her eyes, and Alex can only watch as tears well up and spill over, splashing down the girl’s face. 

The scene changes. 

She’s lying on a table in what she can only describe as a hospital gown, and one word echoes around and around the room. 

“Rehabilitation.” 

In a cold sweat, Alex wakes. 

She’s gasping like she’s just run a hundred miles, and next to her, Servando continues his peaceful slumber. 

Careful not to wake him, she slips a shirt on over the sports bra she slept in, and whistles softly for Blue. He raises his head and perks up as she beckons for him, and the clicking of his nails is grounding and calming. 

The two run around and around the neighborhood until the sun is about to come up. Her feet just keep moving, and the faster she runs, the more she thinks about her dream self running through the forest that held all sorts of man-made horrors. 

“It’s just a dream,” she mutters to herself. As if on autopilot, she brings her phone to her ear and listens as it rings once, twice, and then connects. 

“Hey, Lex.”

“Kelley,” she breathes out. 

“You okay?” Kelley’s voice turns concerned, and Alex tries to slow her breathing as much as she can. 

“Yeah, sorry,” she pants, slowing to a stop. “I’m just on a run with Blue.”

“What’s up?” 

“Uh...” Alex furrows her eyebrows as her words fail her. “I had a bad dream?” She winces at how childish it sounds, like a toddler running to their parents’ room to check for monsters under the bed, and prepares herself for Kelley’s laughter. 

It doesn’t come. Instead, through some crackling static she hears, “Ah. Bad dreams are the worst.”

The terrors she saw were so terrible she doesn’t even want to think about it, but even worse than just the blatant gore was the fact that at the end of the battle, when she woke up, she wasn’t sure which side she was on.  

“Yeah.” Alex sighs and pats her leg for Blue as he begins straying a little too far. He trots back to her side and is content with sniffing at the ground around her feet. 

“You okay?”

"You sure?"

“Yeah.”

“Want me to make you breakfast?”

“ _Yes_.” 

Alex doesn’t even bother running home to drop Blue off or change, she just puts Kelley’s address into maps and takes off. On her way, she realizes that this is the first time she’s ever been to where Kelley lives. It seems odd that their relationship seems to consist of parties of very different levels of openness, but she shakes the thought from her head and forced herself faster until all she can think about is the pounding of her feet on the sidewalk and the puffs of breath in the chilly morning air. 

Her tempo slows, and Blue falls into line beside her as she reaches the final stretch. Rounding the corner into Kelley’s street, she lets her breathing even out and walks with her hands on her head the rest of the way. 

Kelley’s house is a condo in a whole different city, thought the ones around Stanford seem to blend together, but the complex is higher end, and she remembers people building it only a couple years ago. 

She raises her fist to the wood, but right as she's just grazing it, Kelley swings the door open. “Sorry,” she apologizes as Alex jumps a little. “Brooklyn goes nuts when people knock.” 

“All good,” she says, shrugging. Glancing down at her side she says, “Sorry, I didn’t even put Blue’s collar or leash on.” 

“No worries,” Kelley says. She waves the two of them in, and Blue trots eagerly over to meet Brooklyn. She growls a little, but brings him a tug toy for them to play with. Instead, he flops onto his side and his eyes begin to blink close almost immediately. 

“Sorry, Brooky,” Kelley says. “I think he’s a little pooped.” 

“My fault,” Alex admits. “We went for a very long run this morning.” 

“Well, you must be starving, then. Let me get started with breakfast,” Kelley says decisively. “Want anything to drink?”

“Tea?” Alex says. “Would you like any help?” 

“Nah,” Kelley says, filling a kettle. “You just sit there and look pretty. Also, Christen might be joining us, she’s not sure yet.” 

Oh yes. _Christen_. “Awesome.”

Kelley must pick up on Alex’s less than enthused tone of voice, but if she does, she doesn’t say anything. Instead, she asks, “How do you like your eggs?”

“Sunny side up, please,” Alex orders. “With the yolk super super runny.”

Kelley cracks one into the skillet direct and two into a bowl that she begins whisking with milk, salt, and pepper. And then, it's like the dream never even happened. Alex is laughing and joking and listening to Kelley tell all these crazy stories about her childhood, and almost  forty-five minutes later, true to her word, they hear the familiar sound of a key turning in the lock. 

Christen. 

Almost immediately, Alex wishes she’d showered and changed first because Christen is quite possibly the most beautiful women she’s ever seen, and she’s seen Kelley almost every day of her life. 

“Hey!” Christen says. Her face looks strangely excited to see her, and her eyes hold a mixture  of wonder, disbelief, and delight. “Alex, right?”

“Yeah,” she says with a smile. “You must be Christen.” 

“That’s me,” she says with a small salute. Her eyes flicker back between Kelley and Alex, but Kelley gives her a shake of the head that’s so subtle Alex almost misses it. She  can’t put her finger on why, but Christen’s tone is strange. The happiness and excitement doesn’t seem fake, but something in it just makes Alex get the feeling she’s hiding something. 

“Hey, Chris, I hope scrambled is okay,” Kelley says, gesturing to the eggs she’s keeping warm. 

“Absolutely,” Christen says. She drops a kiss onto Kelley’s temple and says, “Can I help?”

Kelley waves her off same as she did Alex, so Christen shrugs and takes a seat next to Alex at the bar. Alex clears her throat and then asks, as nonchalantly as she can, “How was your day?”

Christen shrugs. “Tired. Just got back from work.” 

“What do you do?” 

“Firefighter,” Christen says at the same time Kelley says, “Cop.”

A pause. 

“I’m a firefighter, she’s a cop,” Christen says almost nervously. 

“Very cool,” Alex says. “I’m just a kids soccer coach.” 

“Not just any,” Kelley says with a grin. “You're _Rose’s_ soccer coach.”

Eventually, when Kelley is satisfied with the enormous amounts of food, they sit down to eat. Much to Alex’s chagrin, Christen is nice. 

Like, really nice. 

She asks Alex questions, but also listens when she answers, and makes an effort not to leave her out or make her feel like she’s third wheeling. Alex begins to understand why Kelley spoke so highly of Christen that day; she’s smart and funny and kind and beautiful and Alex really can’t find any faults in her.  Alex had thought it was just a Kelley thing, but she gets the same feeling of “I’ve known you my whole life” with Christen as well. 

When they finish, Alex insists on helping clean up. She begins stacking the plates and catches Kelley watching her almost with an almost nostalgic like look on her face, but pushes it out of her mind and carries the stack to the kitchen.  “Where’s the dish soap?” she calls back into the dining room. 

“Under the sink,” Kelley replies. 

She pulls open the cupboard and grabs the bottle of Dawn. It looks pretty much unused, and Alex squeezes a generous amount into the hot water she’s running into one side of the sink. 

She begins scrubbing at a plate, and Christen greets her with a smile as she enters the kitchen and begins rinsing the scrubbed plates off. 

“So, how long have you known Kelley?” Alex asks. 

“Hm, about fifteen years,” Christen says. “More than half my life at least.” She opens her mouth as if to speak, but then shuts it almost immediately and shakes her head at herself. 

“What?” Alex asks. 

Christen sighs. “It’s just... Kelley may appear closed off at times, right?”

“Yeah,” Alex says. She doesn’t mention that Kelley seems to know a whole lot more about her than she does Kelley, but it instantly comes to mind. 

“Don’t take it personally,” Christen says seriously. She frowns a bit. “She lost someone really close to her a some years ago, nine to be exact, and it affected her badly.”

“Oh, yeah,” Alex says, nodding. “I heard she, uh, died?” 

Christen blinks, but says, “Um, yeah. So, you can imagine...”

“Of course.”

Her phone pings, and Christen scans a message quickly. She wipes her hands quickly and dashes to get her jacket. Pausing at the door, she turns to face Alex and says, “I gotta go. Work. It was _really_ good to see you, Alex.”

“You too?” It almost comes out like a question, but Alex feels almost unnerved by the sincerity in Christen’s voice, considering they just met. 

She hears Christen say goodbye quickly, and Kelley wanders in moments later to take over helping with the dishes. “You didn’t have to do this.”

“It’s okay,” Alex says with a shrug. “You cook, I clean.”

The two work in silence for a couple minutes until Kelley asks, “So, what was your dream about, anyway?”

Alex feels a slight chill return to her core, but she recalls as much as she can. “I’m not really sure, honestly. It was confusing. It was a battle of some sorts, we were flying, I think. And we fought with... sticks? Which sounds dumb, obviously. But I got the feeling they were really powerful. I don’t know.” Kelley’s looking at her absolutely terrified, but Alex is staring out the window and continues obliviously, “Earlier this week I had another dream, but it wasn’t a nightmare like this one. I was flying, but it was some kind of game.”

“Flying?” Kelley manages to get out. “How?”

Alex shrugs. “I was just sitting on something, I don't remember what.” A faint smile lands on her face. "But I liked the game, it reminded me of soccer."

“They, um,” Kelley mutters. She’s mumbling her words and speaking too quietly for Alex to hear, but she’s able to make out the words “they” and “mistake” over and over and over again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> any guesses as to what happened w alex?? it'll all be explained completely eventually, but ive started dropping hints or mayeb ive given it away idk. also i dont really edit this lol sorry :((
> 
> \-- evan (jessieflemlng on tumblr)


	9. chapter 9

**Third Year - October**

 

Tobin arrives at Hogwarts a month late. 

All Kelley knows is that she and her family were targeted by the neo-Death Eaters because of her having Muggle father only just a couple days before school began. It had only been a week after she’d left Kelley’s. Nobody knows for sure what happened, but all of them know that her brother was killed and that the rest of her family is living under Auror protection in a safe house provided by the Ministry. 

Two weeks into school, she sends everyone a letter, but on the front she’s scribbled, _Do Not Open_. 

Kelley hovers over the note for a second, and then flips it over. Her thumb is just under the fold of paper about to break Tobin’s seal when she spies some tinier writing right above the flap. _I’m serious KO, DON’T DO IT_.

“Dammit,” she mutters.

And when Tobin gets to school, she’s bitter and angry. “I want to kill every single Death Eater.” Her tone is less hostile and more matter of fact, which to Kelley, is scarier. “I just gotta wait for the big battle.”

“What battle?” Julie asks. “They’re gonna get shut down before that ever happens.”

“I don’t think so,” Tobin says with a shrug. 

And that’s that. 

A week after she returns, she tells everyone to bring the letters she’d sent them and come join her her dorm. A few of the Hufflepuffs look like they might start something as they make their entrance into the common room, but one Authentic Slytherin Stare from Alex that makes Kelley feel some type of way makes them break their gaze.  
  
“If they didn’t want us in here, they should put a password on their door,” Julie grumbles. 

All seven of them, Kelley, Alex, Emily, Christen, Julie, Sam, and Nikki pause outside Tobin’s dorm room. Despite Mal being their friend, Tobin had just said “she’s too young.” So, they’d picked the little gathering to happen on a Friday night when Mal and Jessie’s weekly hangout session took place.

Even though Sam and Emily actually _live_ in the same dorm as Tobin, they’re fighting over who has to knock when Tobin swings the door open with an amused look on her face. 

Sheepishly mumbling hellos, they shuffle inside and organize themselves around the room. Christen leans against the headboard of Tobin’s bed with their hands intertwined and Nikki and Sam curl up with Sam’s big black cat named Brooklyn.  With Alex leaning against her legs, Kelley takes a seat in an armchair and fiddles with the letter she’d gotten all those weeks ago. She’s surprised that she’s refrained from reading it, but she knows Tobin doesn’t ask a lot of them, and when she does, it’s serious. 

“You can, um, open it?” Tobin says. Her voice comes out an octave higher than normal and breaks on the word “open.” She clears her throat and nods decisively. “Yeah. Open it.”

Kelley looks unsurely around the room, but shrugs and uses her fingernail to pry up the seal. 

_ Kelley --  _

_ I guess this is gonna be kind of weird for you to be reading it while I’m just sitting there, but I didn’t want to tell the story verbally and I wanted to be there when you did, so.... sorry? _

_ Anyway, as you have probably guessed, this is me telling u all about what happened that night cause the shrink they made me talk to said it would be a good idea and also it’s kind of weird for my best friends not to know, right? _

Kelley grins at the “best friends” part and glances up at Tobin who makes eye contact with her and mimes a fist bump. 

_ So I guess I’ll just jump right into it.  _

_ They “attack” (I dont know what to call it) came during the night. My family is not naive but our neighborhood is small and safe and it was hot so the we left the windows open when we went to bed. Of course, they could have gotten in anyway, but still.  _

_ I guess Perry got up in the middle of the night for something, because around two in the morning we heard her scream. Ran out to her, and we found her already tied up in the living room. We didn’t stand a chance. All of us were tied up as well, but my mom managed to get a message to the Ministry before they took our wands.  _

_ None of my siblings are magic, as you know, but I guess they didn’t believe that and thought we were trying to keep a weapon. They started to torture Jeffrey, but of course he couldn’t give them what they wanted cause he didn’t have any magic power and therefore didn’t have a wand to give to them  _

_ So the Ministry got our message and sent a couple Aurors, but since I can’t use magic they had to defend like four people while trying to defeat three and as you can imagine, they couldn’t do both at once.  _

_ All three Death Eaters were detained and are awaiting trial, but Jeffrey had too many wounds. I think they could have saved him, but they aren’t allowed to perform magic on Muggles without trial and so he died. _

_ After that they had to move us three times to different safe houses because more Death Eaters kept coming for us. There are a hell of a lot of them, by the way. An Auror had to go to Diagon Alley and get my school stuff for me and Perry can’t go to school anymore. _

_ My parents delayed letting me come back to Hogwarts, which is why I’m so late, but eventually I convinced them when they found out there are Aurors here all year. Besides, Hogwarts is safer than any of the houses we’re staying at, I think.  _

_ Anyway, I just wanted you to know that.  _

_ Tobin. _

They finish reading almost simultaneously, but none of them want to say anything. Kelley meets Sam’s eyes, but after a little shrug from the Hufflepuff, they break their gaze. 

“Any questions?” Tobin’s voice comes out like a chuckle, but her body language tells them she’s nervous.  
  
“Do you really think there’s going to be another battle?” Julie asks quietly. “So soon?”

Tobin nods. “Yeah, I do. There are a lot of them. Like... a _lot_.”

A lot. 

For the first time, Kelley feels grateful for the Aurors stationed all around the school. 

Tobin claims to be fine, but everyone can tell she’s on edge and angry, but most of all, sad. She eats alone a lot of the time only letting Christen or Kelley occasionally join her, but even when they do, it’s silent. 

“Am I the reason she doesn’t sit with us?” Alex whispers over a bowl of oatmeal one morning. 

Kelley turns to look at her with a fork full of sausage halfway to her mouth. “What? Why?”

“‘Cause, you know, my parents,” Alex says quietly.

“Al,” Sam says, “if she has a problem with you, then I’m sorry, but she needs to get over it. You’re not your parents, and _we_ all know that.”

“I guess, yeah,” Alex says, but Kelley can tell she’s still unsure. 

Not wanting Alex to think about it too hard, she tugs her away with promises of toffee. They wave to the Aurors posted at the entrance to the Great Hall as they leave, and Kelley’s able to distract Alex from her doubts with pumpkin juice and a good game of Wizard’s Chess.

A couple days later, Tobin and Alex end up against each other during a Quidditch match. Hufflepuff has a terrible streak of losing to Slytherin because their style of play is much less aggressive and more tactical, but this game is a lot different. 

“Seems like someone forgot that Slytherins aren’t all Death Eaters anymore,” Julie mutters. 

“They never were,” Kelley says absentmindedly. 

Mal and Jessie have joined them for the game due to Jessie being too sick to play and Sam being starting Seeker anyway, and are busy arguing over whether or not something that happened twenty minutes ago was a foul. A few comments later and the conversation turns towards as to why there has been no Snitch sighting. 

“Maybe there isn’t one,” Nikki muses. 

“Tobin looks mad,” Mal observes. She’s pointing off towards the right where said Hufflepuff is twirling her bat and waiting to strike. 

“I thought she played Chaser,” Jessie chimes in.

“She _does_.” Kelley’s frowning up at the sky, and then looks at Christen, who shrugs. 

The game goes on, but all around them, people begin murmuring about the Snitch. The goals keep on coming, with Hope and Adrianna delivering some incredible saves, but the game won’t end until the snitch is caught. 

“Do you think Slytherin did something to it?” Julie asks.

“No,” Christen decides, “it wouldn’t benefit them at all because there’s no other way to win.”

Off to the side below the stands, Alex and Sam have flown in towards each other and seem to be conversing. Alex is shaking her head and Sam is shrugging. They both look out into the field, and Sam says something that looks like a question. Then it’s Alex’s turn to shake her head. 

Eventually, the two seem to agree on something and split off.

Sam calls for a pass and Emily delivers, but it’s intercepted by a dive from a Slytherin player with “Logarzo” written across the back in silver lettering. Alex zooms in and points towards a spot over to the side where she easily catches it from her and points again. Chloe tucks herself into her broom and zooms over to where Alex is gesturing to, and after receiving the Quaffle, she slots it away just pass Franch. 

Cheers rise from the Slytherin side, but then murmurs begin again as they realize the Seekers have all but given up on catching the Snitch and are playing Chaser instead. 

“There _must_ be a Snitch,” Christen says, almost like she’s convincing herself. “I mean, the teachers are watching, right? They wouldn’t just... let it go on forever.”  
  
“It might be a delayed release,” Mal suggests, but Jessie replies, “No, they don’t do that at school level.” 

It’s nearly two hours later that the Snitch is even in sight, and considering the skill of both Sam and Alex, Kelley thinks it’ll be game over immediately, but as soon as either one gets close, it’s like the Snitch just skips ahead and is out of reach again. 

If Kelley didn’t know better, she’d say it was magic. 

Tobin the whole time has been targeting Slytherins like crazy, and not in the “you’re supposed to” kind of way. More like a "let me hit as many as possible even if they’re not doing anything of actual importance” kind of way.

Kelley almost laughs as Tobin sets her aim on Chloe, who’s completely off to the side and in no position to shoot or be of any assist in passing. Still, moments later, Chloe is rolling to the underside of her broom handle and twisting away towards the ground as the Bludger grazes an inch above her ponytail and swerves back towards Tobin.

“Everyone knows what happened, why would they put her in as Beater for a game against Slytherin?” Christen almost cries out. “She’s going to kill somebody!”

She doesn’t _kill_ anyone, but she _does_ cause significant injury.

A few minutes later, Alex is hurtling to intercept a cross thrown pretty much perfectly by Sydney, but a Bludger intercepts her first, and Kelley feels her heart stop as a gasp runs over the crowd.

Christen is gripping her hand so tight it actually hurts as they can do nothing but watch Alex tumble towards the ground with her splintered broom falling with her. A teacher runs over and holds up their wand. Kelley breathes almost a sigh of relief when she sees Alex’s fall slow, but her limbs look limp and broken as she drifts to the sandy ground. 

Around them, Kelley can hear whispers about the play, and she knows Tobin’s going to have some serious consequences. Beaters are trained to hit Bludgers in a tactical way that causes Chasers to pass when they don’t want to or shoot before they have a good angle or miss a perfect cross. 

Hitting directly at a player is reckless, stupid, and generally frowned upon.

“Is she okay?” Mal almost whispers. 

“I don’t know, kid,” Kelley says. 

Two nursing students who work for Madam Pomfrey rush onto the field and wave their wands over Alex’s body. Her body rises and hangs limply in the air as the students rush her off the field and back towards the castle. 

The Snitch has stopped whatever it’s doing and is pretty much just floating around in the same spot, so Sam hesitantly inches over and catches it easily. Everyone looks almost a little confused. There’s some brief clapping from the yellow masses in the crowd, but nudges from their neighbors make them stop. Almost at once, the entire arena  realizes the game is technically over and begin filing out of the stands and back to the castle. Out of the corner of her eye, Kelley spots a huddle of figures in all black taking off from the astronomy tower. She frowns and is about to point it out when Mal tugs on her arm saying something about going to see Alex.

The players have filed off the field, though the Slytherin team is marching straight to the hospital wing instead of back to the locker room to change. Hufflepuff is gathering in the center of the field, and Kelley can see Tobin hanging towards the outside. She can tell she’s feeling guilty just by the way she’s hunching over.

Kelley sighs and follows Christen back to the hospital wing where she sweet talks one of the students and gets them in. Alex is lying on a pristine white hospital bed with her right arm in a sling, her left arm in a hanging cast all the way up to her thigh, and her shirt has been cut off to expose a bandage that begins right at the bottom of her sports bra.  Around her head is another bandage that’s already turning a little bit pink in one spot, and Kelley turns to bury her face in Christen’s shoulder. 

“It’s gonna be fine,” Christen sighs. “This is nothing compared to what magic medicine can do.”

Kelley knows that, but just the sight of Alex looking so banged up and broken is enough to start the familiar feeling she gets when someone fouls her during a game or insults her family. Ignoring Christen’s warning tone, she sets her jaw and marches towards the doors of the hospital wing.

The Slytherin team bursts through and a chorus of “is she okay?” and “what did Madam Pomfrey say?” and “can we see her?” fills the air, but  Kelley pushes past all of them and finds Sam in the hallway with Nikki, still in her uniform.  “Hey, KO,” she says. 

“Where’s Tobin?” she almost growls.

“Uh, Amy gave her the password to the Prefects bathroom,” Sam says cautiously. “Something about a bath?” She tilts her head to the side and then sighs. “Kelley, _no_.”

Without even sparing them a second glance, Kelley’s clenching her fists and all but running up towards the Prefect bathroom she knows is on the same floor as the Hufflepuff common room. Mumbling the password she’d gotten from Lauren, Kelley pushes the door open and lets it smack against the wall with a bang.

Tobin is leaning on the sink facing the mirror and catches sight of Kelley’s reflection. “Kelley, I didn’t--”

“Alex is lying with God knows how many broken bones and  _unconscious_ because of you!” Kelley had meant to talk it through calmly, but that had been before she’d _seen_ the result of Alex’s injuries. Now, she doesn’t really care. 

“I know, I’m sorry,” Tobin says. “I let my emotions get the better of me--”

“It was _Alex_ ,” Kelley yells. “She would _never_ hurt you or anyone based on the generalization I know you think is true about Slytherins.” Tobin opens her mouth to reply, but Kelley holds up a finger and warns her, “Don’t lie to me.”

Tobin’s shoulders slump, and she squeezes her eyes shut. “I’m sorry.”

“That’s not good enough.”

“Look, magic medicine can heal pretty much anything,” she says.

“So that makes it okay?”

“That’s not what I _said_!” Tobin huffs in frustration.

“No, it’s what you implied.” Kelley knows she’s really just grasping at straws here, but she’s angry at what happened, and it’s easy to be angry at Tobin. “You’re a really shitty friend, you know that? And an even shittier Quidditch player. That wasn’t smart or safe playing, and you’ve lost so much because of it.”

“She’s not going to _die_ , Kelley,” Tobin says. Her eyes widen. “Right?”

“No,” Kelley scoffs. “But do you really think anyone will want to be your friend after this? If that’s how much you valued Alex’s friendship, I wonder how much you value ours.”

“Kelley, that’s not the same thing,” Tobin says reproachfully. “You know it's not. And it was an accident! I didn’t even mean for it to be Alex, it could have been anyone! You know I wouldn’t do it on purpose.”

“Do I?” Kelley says. “You said you wanted to kill all Death Eaters, and if you think all Slytherins are Death Eaters, then what’s Alex?”

“She was my opponent at the time!” Tobin cries out. “Everyone has done dumb stuff like that before!”

“Is that an excuse or a justification?” Kelley spits. She’s never had this much of an adrenaline high in her entire life, and deep down she knows Tobin didn’t do it on purpose and feels worse about it than anyone, but the surface of her emotions are easier to get to. “And now you’re hiding in here like a coward. Go face your school, your teammates, and your House and tell them all about how you tried to kill Alex.”

“I didn’t try to--”

“Leave!”

Kelley’s vision blurs, but she refuses to move until a splotchy Tobin slides out of the bathroom. Kelley collapses onto the floor and takes loud gasping breaths as she tries to hold her sobs at bay. She doesn’t even know why she’s reacting so strongly about this, considering she hasn’t really been friends with Alex that long, but every time she pictures Alex's limp body it feels like her heart has been ripped out. 

After a couple minutes or a couple hours, Kelley pulls her exhausted body onto her feet. Her eyes are puffy, and her limbs feel shaky as she splashes cold water on her face, but she takes a deep breath and follows Tobin’s path out the door.

Had they not been fighting, maybe they would have seen it, but both of them miss the black cloak with a snake and skull stitched into it lying on the floor, and when Amy goes in to shower that night, it’s gone.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk what’s wrong w me but this chapter is awful lol my writing is just progressively getting worse & i already edited this twice, which is two more times than i usually do lmaoo and it still sucks buuutt if i look at it any longer i’ll Die so here you go. & jeff finally makes her appearance!! lmao
> 
> also this will (hopefully) help u make predictions about why tobin and christen aren’t together in present day/future/whatever bc i got so many comments abt that (like 3 but) 
> 
> & again this was meant to be confusing!! kind of!! but dw it will all be explained (like always) and id love to hear ur predictions/interpretations in the meantime :)
> 
> \-- evan (jessieflemlng on tumblr)


	10. chapter ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im gonna start posting lyrics from niall's album flicker bc i realized every song is a big mood for this fic, not just the one the title is based off of yay

**Thirteen Years Later**

_ you hold me close / but at a distance / thinking i don’t ever listen / but i do / i know sometimes i get confusing / you might be lost / but i ain’t losing you  _

Once again, Alex feels an overwhelming sense of nostalgia when she looks at Kelley, though she knows it’s not usually a feeling you get for someone you’ve just met. They’re sitting in a restaurant, one of Alex’s favorites, in the Stanford Shopping Centre, and Kelley is telling her stories about the pranks she used to pull at school. 

“I went to a boarding school,” she had explained, answering the unspoken question of how on Earth they managed to pull all of it off. 

Currently, she’s retelling the time she and her friend flipped all of their dorm’s furniture onto the ceiling. “How is that even possible?” Alex gasps through her laughter.

Kelley winks. “That’s for me to know.”

Looking at her now, across the table, Alex can’t bring herself to tear her eyes away from the freckled woman that seems to have done no less than completed her life. She can practically hear the giggling laughter of a younger Kelley and the pounding of her feet as she runs up and down the halls to avoid getting caught by teachers. 

She can practically see the little girl that she used to be with wide hazel eyes just waiting for her to grow into. She can practically see those eyes fill with wonder at the world and endless amusement, and can _actually_ see current Kelley, whose green flecked gaze has matured for sure, but hasn’t lost the artful twinkle and childlike glint. 

And suddenly, it’s like she’s right there with her, with the two of them tearing around school in their billowing uniforms, racing each other to class. A teacher scolds them and all but slams her classroom door shut, but Kelley just tugs on her hand to keep on running until all at once, it isn’t a race anymore. They’re neck and neck, but neither feels like they need to beat the other. 

Alex can let herself enjoy the breathless laughter tumbling around her and the airy lift of Kelley’s hair as it bounces around her face and frames eyes that are looking at her. But Alex feels her eyebrows furrow as she sees Kelley’s expression shift. 

The pure happiness that was radiating from her sours until all Alex can sense is sadness. There’s a longing in her eyes, and when Alex looks up at real Kelley, her face is much of the same.  Alex feels her cheeks flush, and glances down. Her hands mindlessly shred the Tender Greens napkin in her fingers, and she wills the moment, whatever it is, to end. They happen quite often, and though confuse her, and they also make Kelley sad. 

Their eye contact is broken as Kelley’s phone buzzes long tones. It shakes the table ever so slightly, and with an apologetic grimace, Kelley flips it over to look at the screen. She declines the call and smiles up at Alex, “Just work. It can wait.”

“How’s work, anywa--?”

Alex is cut off by short bursts of vibrating again. Kelley rolls her eyes, and when she wakes up her phone, Alex can see messages popping in almost every second. Kelley’s eyes flicker up between the screen and Alex about ten times in one second, and Alex just says, “Go ahead.”

“Really?” Kelley asks. “I mean, it’s probably fine.”

“You’re a cop, right?” Alex says. She shrugs. “It’s okay, I wouldn’t want to be the cause of you ignoring an emergency.”

Kelley’s eyebrows furrow just enough to be noticeable, but then it’s as if relief washes over her features, and she quickly answers an incoming call. “O’Hara.” She rolls her eyes at Alex as if to say, _can you believe this?_ and then says, “Yes, I promise not to freak out.” Thirty seconds of silence. “What the _fuck_?!” 

Alex is pretty sure that Kelley’s face goes through each stage of grief at least three times within the next five minutes of the phone call. With a growl, Kelley slams her phone down and rubs her temples with her thumbs. Hesitantly, Alex ventures, “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah,” Kelley says. “For sure.” She sighs. “I mean, no. Not really. But you probably don’t want me to bore you with it.”

“Kel, we literally only ever talk about me,” Alex says with a little laugh. “Of course I want to hear about you and what’s going on in your life.”

“It’s not very good,” Kelley warns. 

“We’re friends, right?” Alex asks. Kelley nods. “Well, then it’s officially my duty to listen to your problems and make you feel better.” 

Kelley sighs in resignation, and starts with, “Alright. You know I’m a, uh, cop, obviously. There’s been this ongoing case that’s super important to me. I work in a completely different unit, but I found out about it... accidentally, and I realized the case was someone who I care about a lot, to put it simply.”

“Who?” Alex asks curiously. 

As if to hide, Kelley dives into her cup of mint lemonade, and when she reemerges, she just says, “It doesn’t matter. Anyway, in my department, there’s this co-worker who I have a long history with. We used to be best friends, but we had a, uh, disagreement, and we haven’t really talked in years. I’d say not since we were seventeen, eighteen. And she was just assigned to the case that’s really important to me.”

“That sucks,” Alex says lamely. 

“Yeah!” Kelley agrees, nodding almost too enthusiastically. “Yeah, it does. And what’s even worse is that this co-worker has a history also with the person in the case she was assigned to, which is, like, definitely not ethical or something.”

“Are you worried she’s going to mess it up?” Alex asks. She tears through her brain for something to say, but then admits, “Without knowing what the case is, it’s hard to give you much advice.”

“It’s okay,” Kelley says. “It’s definitely, um, classified information, but otherwise I’d tell you. And, I guess I’m just worried that she’s going to let her personal feelings get in the way. She and the case not only have a history, but they have a bad one. I don’t like not knowing what’s going on.”

“Did you before?” Alex asks. She cocks her head to one side. “Did you used to be assigned to it?”

“Nah,” Kelley says, shaking her head. “Some other Aur--uh, _cop_ , was. But he didn’t know what the fuck he was doing, so it was pretty easy for me to get him to tell me what was going on, and in turn, I helped him do his job.”

She’s rolling her eyes so far back into her head that Alex considers they won’t return, but they do, and so she asks, “What happened to him?”

“Well, since he didn’t know what he was doing,” Kelley explains, “they got mad and removed him. He missed something big. The case started talking to someone who... well, that doesn’t really matter either, but it was definitely notable, and he should have caught it.”

Alex uses a bite of falafel from her plate to consider everything she’s heard, and eventually says, “Be her friend again.”  
  
“What?”

She shrugs and pushes an unwanted pile of mashed potatoes onto Kelley’s plate, knowing she’ll want it. “Be her friend. That co-worker.”  
  
“Yeah, _no_ ,” Kelley says. “No can do.”

Her tone is dismissive, but below that, Alex can hear traces of anger still fresh in her words, despite the incident in question having happened years ago. “It was that bad?” she asks sympathetically. Kelley just nods. “Well, you don’t have to _mean_ it. Just pretend.”

“Pretend to be her friend?” she says, uncertainly. 

“Yeah, that way you can sort of monitor the case, right? Get her to tell you stuff, offer advice like a good friend would, sort of subtly influence her decisions,” Alex suggests. 

A faint smirk breaks out onto Kelley’s face, and Alex can’t help but copy it. “I like the way you think, Morgan. Very sneaky. Very smart. Morally ambiguous.”   
  
“Well, I am a...,” she trails off, forgoing the “after all” part of her sentence when she realizes that she has nothing to a fill in the blank. Instead, she lamely just says, “Yep, that’s me.”

After a brief pause and a moment of deliberation, Kelley says, “Christen agrees with you.” 

“Hm?”

“She thinks I should become friends with her again. The co-worker, I mean.” Kelley takes up Alex's nervous tic of picking at her Tender Greens napkin, and slowly explains, “They were close. Really close also, all of us together at school. The falling out between me and her affected all of the people in our friend group, really, and Christen was no different.”

Alex senses a “but” coming, and sure enough, Kelley starts again with a, “But, she’s always been the forgiving type, especially compared to me. They talk sometimes, I know that, and I’m okay with it, and so Christen is trying to get me to talk with her as well.”

“So please both of them,” Alex suggests. “As well as yourself.” Kelley doesn’t reply, but she nods, and seems to check out of the conversation a little bit. Hoping to coax her back in, Alex tries, “How’s Christen, anyway?”

She expects Kelley to perk up at that, but she doesn’t. She just sighs, like it’s another problem on her plate. “Good. I mean, uh, yeah, good.”

“That doesn’t _sound_ good,” she ventures. She studies Kelley’s face, but her expression is inscrutable. 

“Well, there’s another aspect of this whole... fiasco,” Kelley admits. “We dated out of convenience originally, and now that decision has come back to get us.”

“What do you mean?” Alex asks. “You guys seem so good together.”  
  
“Because we _are_ , but as _friends_ ,” Kelley says. She chews thoughtfully on a piece of steak as Alex resists the urge to ask ten more questions. “We’ve been best friends since forever, you know how it is. Like, the best. I can’t imagine my life without her, but I can’t imagine her as my future, you know?” 

Alex doesn’t, but she just nods and says, “Yeah.”

“Remember how I said that she and the co-worker was really close?” Kelley asks. Alex nods again. “They dated. They were, like, completely in love, but they broke up when the thing happened. And around the same time, the girl that I was in love with died. Kind of.” Alex arches one eyebrow, and Kelley flushes a little. “It’s complicated. Anyway, we were just both so heartbroken about it all, we got a lot closer and one thing led to another.”

“Makes sense,” Alex says, struggling for the right words. 

“It made too much sense. I just...” Kelley looks more lost than Alex has ever seen anyone look. She’s beyond the kicked puppy stage, she’s at starving kitten, and Alex’s heart breaks. “In any other situation, we never would have started dating, and that’s how I know it was a mistake. We _both_ know it. We both feel it. We both love each other, but we both wish we were just friends.” 

“So why not just break up?”

Kelley just shrugs. “I don’t know.”

That night, she dreams. Alex is back with Kelley. They’re on widespread front lawn with the neighboring houses over just specks in the distance. In front of them and behind them and around them is just grass. Nothing stops them from racing each other around and around, wrestling and tumbling and laughing and talking.

Kelley’s breath is warm on her neck as they lie together in the field and draw shapes in the clouds, and when she turns and brushes her nose gently across Alex’s, she feels an unadulterated sense of safety rise in her chest. She gets the feeling that isn’t something she’s experienced often, but she can tell that when she does, Kelley is the cause. 

Her dream continues much in the same way, but it starts to feel too real. Still, she decides she doesn’t care. The dream is happy, it’s fun, it’s safe, and it provides Alex with a sense of belonging she didn’t even know she was missing. 

Still, it's like when you dream of tripping on something and then wake up with a falling sensation in your stomach. Something in the back of her mind pokes and prods at her until she jolts awake and begins to think that maybe her dream wasn’t one at all. Maybe wasn’t a make believe scenario her brain made up due to the happy day she’d shared with Kelley, and somehow, she can’t help but hang on to the idea that it was taken from a memory tucked away somewhere in her mind. 

_ I know her.  _

The same thought circles around and around her brain like the wheel of a bicycle, and it makes her dizzy. Squeezing her eyes shut, she rolls over to try and ground herself. Opening her eyes just a crack, Alex’s gaze fixes in Servando. 

Exhaling breathily, she begins going through their history. 

_ We met at Berkeley. We technically first saw each other when I took a tour, but we didn’t talk until after I became a student. Our friends set us up. They saw that we were good together as friends, and then we started to see each other as more. So, we went on a date. And then we officially started going steady. And then... and then... and then... _

Nothing comes. 

All she can think about is their first meeting and the last week of her life. Everything else just floats in and out of her brain like little snowflakes. As soon as she fixes on one memory and reaches out to try and recall more of it, it dissolves in her hand and is gone.

Even the meeting she remembers feels wrong. It feels like a book, like a work of fiction, or as if she’s reciting someone else’s memoir. 

But Kelley?

Kelley feels real. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the short chapter & late update rippp but i hope this gives you more insight into what happened & why kelley & christen are together at this point & also i have a few different questions for you guys bc i there are a couple different ways i can take this story, but i’m not sure which one is most interesting
> 
> 1: slow burn or not? do you want this back and forth to be drawn out, or do you want stuff to speed up? bc after this chapter it could go either way.  
> 2: would you want a hogwarts!alex pov and/or current day!kelley pov chapter? or would that be too confusing?
> 
> as always, thank u for reading, i always appreciate it & i'd love to hear ur thoughts :)
> 
> \-- evan (jessieflemlng on tumblr)


	11. chapter 11

Third Year - December 

_ i can promise it / i can guarantee / at the end of the road i see you with me _

Alex stays in the hospital wing for a week, and it’s the longest of Kelley’s life. With her avoiding Tobin and Tobin avoiding her and everyone else refusing to pick sides, she finds she has pretty much nothing to do because nobody will hang out with either of them until they make up. 

She does more homework than she thinks she’s done the entire year combined, and actually gets good marks on all of them because she’d had no distractions like she usually does during their group study sessions. 

At Quidditch practice, she’ll dip out in the middle when she thinks nobody is watching her and will go swing by the hospital wing where she knows Alex has a bed by the window. She’ll do a couple tricks, yell out a “good morning!” or “hello!” and then zip back to practice, where she’ll pretend she was looking for the snitch.  Nobody believes her, of course, but Lauren humors her antics with a roll of her eyes and an unmistakable smile on her lips. 

When it’s time to eat, Kelley brings Alex a plate of food every meal with all her favorites, despite knowing fully well the house elves send a delivery up to the hospital wing as well. Alex knows this too, but neither say anything. 

Alex is released to continue school as usual, and while Kelley walks her down to the Great Hall for breakfast, she hesitates at the door. Before Alex can ask the unspoken question Kelley knows she has, she guides her over to the Gryffindor table.

“We’re not sitting with everyone else?” Alex asks. 

“Uh, no. I haven’t been sitting with them anymore,” Kelley says sheepishly. “Because of Tobin.”

“Kelley,” Alex sighs. “You two are best friends.”

“She hurt you! Because you’re a Slytherin!” Kelley hisses as quietly as she can.

“You don’t _know_ that,” Alex says. She scoops some egg onto her plate, and then holds up a finger pointedly until Kelley sits down. “And if it _was_ because of that, then I just have to prove her wrong.”

Kelley gapes at her, wondering why on Earth she’s more upset about this than the actual victim of the whole situation, but grumbles an, “Okay,” and moodily stabs at a sausage link.

“A really traumatic thing happened to her,” Alex says quietly, as if she can tell that Kelley’s agreed just to keep peace between them, and not because she actually is convinced. “I can see how she could be blinded by that. I hope she moves past it, and if she doesn’t, that’s a different problem, but for now I’d like to give her the benefit of the doubt.”

And, just like that, Kelley feels like the worst person in the entire planet.

She hadn’t even really thought about what Tobin had gone through because the Hufflepuff had brought it up so casually and then never mentioned it again. She figures it’s just because that’s the kind of person she is, but Kelley suddenly realizes that Tobin coming back to school so soon is more than she could have done in the same situation.

The next day, Alex pulls her over to Hufflepuff, and, cautiously, the rest of their group migrates over from where Julie and Christen had been hosting at the Ravenclaw table. Tobin offers both of them hesitant smiles, and Kelley tries to return it as sincerely as she can.

Already capitalizing on their reunited friend group, Christen suggests they have one last “fun” day out in Hogsmeade before finals begin. Chatter on chatter rises from her friends as they all start listing off their favorite shops to go to. Kelley opens her mouth to give a lame excuse about studying, but one knowing look from Christen is all it takes for her to shrug and agree.

She wishes she hadn’t, however, because now she stands in the freezing cold while waiting for everyone else. With her hands tucked into her pockets, she huddles with Christen for warmth and vaguely realizes this is what it’s like to be early to things. 

A few very cold minutes pass, but from a distance she spies two figures jogging over to them. Each one is trimmed with green and blue, and Kelley squints to make out their faces. As she suspected, a bright eyed Julie and Alex come trotting up to them.   Alex’s cheeks are flushed, her eyes are sparkling, and a few snowflakes have settled into her hair. Kelley thinks if she were to open her mouth to speak, her chattering teeth would slice her tongue in half, so she settles for tugging gently on Alex’s scarf to say hello. 

Either one by one or in pairs huddled so close together they look like one very large person from far away, the rest of the group arrives and joins the bundle of coats and scarves before setting off towards the entrance to Hogsmeade. 

With a jingle of money in her pocket that Kelley’s just aching to spend, she glances around and nudges Alex’s shoulder. Without speaking, she just nods towards the Aurors lining the path. Alex shrugs. She looks like she’s about to say something, but then shakes her head and shrugs again. 

One by one, they file through the security that Kelley’s sure wasn’t there the year before (though, to be fair, she wouldn’t know). She decides that she has never been more grateful for magic, which can detect anything remotely threatening, and therefore saves them from having to shiver out of their coats.

Kelley holds her arms out while an Auror silently passes her wand up and down her body before nodding and motioning her to go ahead. She’s wrapped up in watching Sam try to tie her shoes with mittens on her hands, but after at least five minutes of failure from the Hufflepuff, she notices that Alex hasn’t gotten through.

In fact, she’s the _only_ one who hasn’t. Everyone else is huddled back together and watching the exchange of Alex surrounded by at least five Aurors, all of them searching her. They ask her questions, she answers, and it goes on and on for at least five more minutes. 

Kelley glances around at her friends and is about to speak up, but before she can, Tobin steps forward. “Hey, what’s going on?”

“Just protocol,” an Auror says. His voice is gruff from the cold.  
  
“No, it’s not,” Tobin challenges. Her chin is tucked into her coat, but she nudges it out so her voice carries better. “You didn’t search any of us for that long.”

“It’s to keep you safe,” another says. She’s holding up her wand just in front of Alex’s face and says, “We just need to take down her description, and then you guys can go.”

“That’s not necessary,” Tobin says. 

“It’s to keep you safe,” she says again.

“ _I_ feel perfectly safe.” 

Kelley watches with an arched eyebrow as Tobin takes another step forward and reaches out a hand to place on Alex’s arm. As if pushed by an invisible force, Kelley stumbles forward too and with a slight cough says, “Yeah, and you didn’t take down any of _our_ descriptions.”

“Would you like me to?” the woman threatens, turning her attention away from Tobin.  
  
“Sure,” Christen pipes up from behind. “Record all of our descriptions. Or do you only take down the ones who wear green scarves?”

Kelley tenses as she watches the two Aurors who had spoken lock eyes with each other. After what seems like an eternity, the female Auror takes a step back and all but pushes Alex away. 

Sam starts the group moving again, and it’s silent as their footsteps resume. There’s a slight crunch of snow that must have melted the day before, but refroze overnight, beneath their shoes, and Kelley tries to focus on that to calm her heartbeat. She spies Nikki pat Alex on the back before catching up with Sam and Emily at the front, and Christen has already forgotten the exchange and is telling Tobin about all the shops she wants to go to before the afternoon is over. 

Alex, however, is walking with her eyes to the heels of the girls in front of her. Kelley slows enough to fall into step beside the Slytherin, and wills something useful she can say to pop into her head. Exhaling, she watches the cold of her breath drift away and then says, “I’m sorry.” 

She expects Alex to say something like, “It’s okay” the way she always does, but the Slytherin just shrugs and burrows a little deeper into her coat. Just as Kelley thinks she’s not going to respond she says, so quietly that she almost misses it, “I better get used to it.” 

“What do you mean?” Kelley asks, almost shocked. 

Alex’s eyes are glassy with tears when she meets Kelley’s gaze, but she tries to brush it off and shrugs. “It’s not just that I’m a Slytherin. It’s my surname, too. It’s everything. I could be a Hufflepuff, but because I’m also a Morgan, I’m going to be treated like this for the rest of my life.”

“No, you’re not,” Kelley says firmly. She resists the urge to reach it her hand to brush away the single tear trailing a crooked path down Alex’s cheek and turns her attention to the ground. “We’re going to graduate from Hogwarts and become really great Aurors and we’re not gonna discriminate or use our status to do bad things and you’ll prove everyone wrong.” 

“Maybe,” is all Alex says, “we’ll see,” but Kelley spies a ghost of the familiar half smile she always does, and there’s a slight tone of optimism in her words. 

“Anyway,” Kelley says. Before she can talk herself out of it, she slips her hand out of her coat and laces her fingers with Alex’s. Blushing, but trying to hide it, she refuses to meet Alex’s smiling eyes and calls out to the group, “Butterbeer or Honeydukes first?” 

A chorus of each follows her question, and she rolls her eyes. Squeezing Alex’s hand, she murmurs, “What are you craving?” 

“Butterbeer,” Alex shivers. “It’s so cold.”

“The Three Broomsticks!” Kelley yells up to Sam, who’s leading the pack. The Hufflepuff salutes and alters their course slightly to the right. 

As they walk through the doors, she unloops her scarf and spies Mal at a table in the center. She trots over with Alex in tow and says, “Hey, Pugh.”

“Kelley!” Mal greets brightly. Across the table, Jessie gives a little wave before turning her attention back to the gobstones game in front of them. 

Kelley grins and whispers a winning move to Mal before letting Alex tug her back over to where their friends have miraculously found a table big enough to accommodate all of them. Shucking their gloves and scarves and slipping out of their coats, Kelley takes a seat next to Alex and Julie and observes Christen and Nikki navigating the crowds with trays of butterbeer held high. 

Kelley slides one to Alex and then whispers gently, “You sure you’re okay?” 

“I’m sure,” Alex says. Her eyes are wide and reassuring, after taking a sip, she sighs, “and if I wasn’t, I am _now_. This is perfect.” 

Kelley has to agree, and decides the whole ordeal to get here was worth it. It’s worth the stress she can literally see melting off of her friends. It’s worth the smile Alex gives her over a sugary mug of butterbeer. It’s worth the warmth she feels in every inch of her body. It’s worth the laughter coming from their table that she doesn’t think will ever end, and it’s definitely worth the conversation she’ll later have with Tobin as a result of the confrontation at the gates. 

Alex is further up chatting with Julie about what they want to get at Honeydukes, and Kelley notices Tobin walking alone. Wanting to catch her alone, she hurries up and mumbles a, “Thanks.”

Tobin looks surprised that Kelley’s even talking to her, and says, “What for?” 

“You know,” she says with a shrug. “What you did for Alex back there.”

She watches as Tobin’s cheeks flush. “I mean, everyone said something.”

“But you started it,” Kelley says firmly. “Thank you.”

“I...” Tobin trails off and nods a little. “No problem.”

There’s a long silence, and Kelley almost wishes she hadn’t said anything to begin with, but Tobin breaks it saying, “I really _am_ sorry.” 

“You don’t need to apologize anymore,” Kelley says with a sigh. It almost pains her to say it, but she shakes her head and continues, “I _know_ you’re sorry. I _know_ it was an accident. I overreacted.”

“Kel,” Tobin says, and Kelley realizes how good it is to hear her call her that again, “even if it _was_ an accident, I still really hurt Alex. That doesn’t make it okay.”

“But I made it personal,” Kelley says. “I shouldn’t have. And I should have been a better friend to you.” Tobin is looking at her with such an incredulous expression it’s almost comedic, so Kelley explains, “What happened over the summer was terrible, and we never really talked about it just the two of us. I should have started that conversation, even if it was just to tell you that I’m here for you.”

“Are you?” Tobin asks. Her eyes are smiling, but her voice shakes slightly. 

“Always,” Kelley promises. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol rip sorry im terrible. i had finals and then just,, could not write idk & im still not happy w this but merry christmas here u go anyway. i got an elf costume from my friend & lowkey did a photoshoot in it LOL so check the face tag on my tumblr cause i might post a few pictures just to roast myself 
> 
> \-- evan (jessieflemlng on tumblr)


	12. chapter twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some present day kelley for you :)

**Thirteen Years Later**

_ & i want to tell you everything / the words i never got to say the first time around _

Before her eyes even open, she knows exactly what her day is going to look like. Christen, who has long since mastered the art of getting out of bed without waking her, which she does promptly every day at six in the morning (six thirty, if she feels like treating herself), will just be finishing her yoga or morning run by the time Kelley gets up. 

Then, the two will have a (healthy) breakfast cooked by Christen (and Kelley, but only technically) while sharing the Muggle puzzles in the paper they get delivered. Kelley will pick out her clothing for today (Christen chooses hers the night before) while Christen has a post-morning yoga/run shower (Kelley has hers at night before bed). Christen will panic that they’re going to be late, and Kelley will remind her to breathe while lazily packing up her bag for the day.

Today, however, Kelley sits at a cafe. It’s eight in the morning, and with a coffee in front of her and an empty pastry napkin crumpled in her fist, she waits. Christen will be just finishing breakfast, and Kelley wonders if she’s going to remember that Kelley won’t need a packed lunch today. 

Before she can take out her phone to remind her, Kelley sees the woman she’s waiting for walk in. She clenches her jaw as she sees her scan the cafe, and then head straight for Kelley once located. 

Kelley stands. She straightens her tie and holds out her hand. “Ms. Heath,” she greets. 

Tobin’s face falls, but she shakes her hand gently. The look of hurt is unmistakable, and Kelley can feel her resolve breaking. 

But then she remembers why they’re there. 

She remembers all the moments she’ll never get with Alex. Despite getting so close, they never got to  graduate together, and never will. Kelley had seen in her head, since the day they met, how it would go so many times. Kelley would help Alex into her dress and Alex would match Kelley’s tie because she was always so much better at that. They’d both freak out over their unavoidable future that, for the first time, wasn’t planned out for them. 

But then Kelley would kiss Alex’s fears away and Alex would pretend to be annoyed at her smudged lipstick and they’d laugh and Kelley would fix it and they’d both remember to breathe. 

Of course, that day is years in the past, and instead of the happy occasion it should have been, it was filled with an empty seat and an ache in Kelley’s heart. 

She thinks of the apartment they’d planned out buying on a whim when they were in their third year. They’d stayed up long hours into the night whenever one of them couldn’t sleep, discussing and planning and creating the perfect life that Kelley knew Alex had been waiting a lifetime for. 

Kelley would cook and Alex would clean because Kelley was always the one who liked making food, but never could find the motivation to pick up after herself, and Alex could never figure out how to stop burning things, but was happier stealing tastes from Kelley’s latest kitchen adventure anyway.

They’d disagree on paint colors, and make Julie or Christen settle the argument by refereeing a Quidditch game, and Alex would inevitably succumb to her competitive ways and foul so aggressively that Kelley would win by default.  Kelley would want to paint the magic way because “it’s so much faster!” but Alex would make them do it by hand because “aren’t _you_ the Muggleborn?” and Kelley would pretend to sulk. 

The Slytherin, of course, would be so eager to get started she’d forget to change clothes and would get paint all over a nice white top, but Kelley would kiss away her frustration before it even started with a promise to buy her a new one. With the sunlight shining through the wide open window to allow a slight breeze through the room, Kelley would watch Alex with her hair thrown up and paint all over and when she turns to scold her for just _sitting_ there when there’s _so much to do_ , Kelley would fall in love all over again. 

And there’s the small things, too. The big stuff matters, of course, but it’s the little things she’ll miss that Kelley knows hurts the most. 

It’s the sleepy kisses in the morning when they’re both just on the brink of waking up. It’s the routine they’ll slowly fall into as they settle into their new jobs and lives. It’s the clothing that will mix into the other's with each wash until Kelley complains every time she wants to work out because Alex’s never ending collection of pastel dri-fit shirts make it impossible for her to find her gray muscle tees, but both of them know she loves it. 

It’s the quick kisses goodbye when they split off in the morning to go to work, and the long kisses after a heavy day with glasses of wine and tired feet. It’s the exhausted nights when all they can do is fall into bed with the most conscious one slipping shoes off of the other, and it’s lazy day naps with legs so intertwined that neither knows where theirs begins and the other's ends. 

It’s shopping trips at the supermarket where Kelley shows Alex how Muggle money works, and Alex pretends to forget every single time because she knows Kelley likes telling about her Muggle things. It’s the trips where they almost get kicked out for pretending they’re playing Quidditch and tossing groceries into the cart, and the trips where they magically agree on every single item and are in and out of the store within ten minutes. 

It’s the long fights where they barely speak and spend days ignoring the other until one of their friends makes them talk it out. Kelley would offer a smile and her hand, and Alex would say she’s still mad, but would intertwine their fingers anyway with a silent promise that they’d work it out. It’s the little fights when they’re tired or overworked and they snap at each other for doing nothing except being themselves. 

It’s the lifetime of love Kelley always thought was in her future. 

It’s the little things. 

The little things that Kelley _wants_ to miss, but can’t, because they never happened. 

And they never will. 

So, Ms. Heath it is. 

“I was so glad when you wanted to meet,” Tobin says. She stirs her coffee nervously. “Does... this mean we can be okay again?”

“This meeting isn’t about us,” Kelley says. “This meeting is about Alex.”

“I was young and angry and stupid—“

“I know you’re on her case,” Kelley interrupts. She takes a sip of her drink and lets the bitter taste ground her until she can continue without turning the whole thing into an argument and ruining it. 

“Okay,” Tobin says. She opens her mouth to say something, but then shuts it and just repeats, “Okay.”

“And I want to know why you let that happen, knowing fully well that you’re way too close to be impartial,” Kelley almost growls. 

“I don’t know,” she says. “I figured you’d prefer me over a stranger at least.”

“I don’t want you so much as _looking_ at Alex ever again,” Kelley says. “I’d take Voldemort himself over you.”

“You don’t mean that,” Tobin says. Kelley spots tears welling up in the corners of her eyes, and turns her head away with a deep breath. “Kelley.”

“The least you can do is put me on the case unofficially. You tell me everything you’re doing and consult me before making decisions,” Kelley says quietly. She knows Tobin is searching for her eyes, for some sort of connection, but she refuses to give in. 

“Kelley, I can’t do that,” Tobin says. “It’s against protocol, you know that.”

“You ruined her life,” Kelley says, finally making eye contact. “It’s easy for you to forget that because we know you never really liked her anyway—“

“—that’s not _true_ , and you know—“

“—but you made a mistake that cost her everything. You cost _me_ everything,” Kelley says bitterly. 

“And you don’t think I lost things, too?” Tobin demands. She closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, and Kelley tries to keep her face as neutral as possible. “I fucked up, I know that. I can never fully rectify what I did, I _know_ that..” Her eyes darken and she grinds the palms of her hands into them with a sigh. “But I lost Christen, the girl I thought would be by my side forever. I lost friendships that meant the world to me. Sam and Nikki are nice, and we hang out, but it’s not the same. It doesn’t feel the same. And Mal is still so mad. I don’t think she ever won’t be.”

“That’s too bad, but—“

“I lost my best friend,” she interrupts forcefully. Kelley makes herself look at Tobin’s face for the first time that day, and finds it’s tired. Not the kind of tired that can be fixed with a good night's sleep and a massage, but the kind of tired that has eaten away at a person for days and days until it’s just a permanent part of them. 

“Me,” she says numbly. 

Tobin nods. “You. I still remember meeting you that first day on the train. We were both so nervous, but we teamed up to calm Christen down, who was practically having a panic attack. And, at eleven years old, we promised we’d always be best friends. I thought we would be. You and I were always so good together; we rarely fought, we balanced the other out perfectly, and waking up every morning remembering you hate me is like being stabbed every time. I miss us. I miss _you_.”

“I miss us, too,” Kelley admits. She swallows thickly, but the lump in her throat refuses to go down. 

“Let me make it up to you,” Tobin begs. “Let me try to be your friend again.” 

Kelley looks up and blinks away the tears that threaten the clarity of her vision. Staring up at the ceiling, she pushes away the ache in her heart that she knows can only be healed by Tobin and takes a deep breath. “There’s only one way you can do that. Update me on the case, and maybe I can learn to trust you again.”

“I can’t—“

“You _can_.” Kelley stares at her. “The question is, are you willing to?” 

Without waiting for an answer, Kelley picks up her backpack and slings it over one shoulder while tossing some Muggle cash onto the table for both of them. Her heart is racing and her pulse thumps in her ears as she blindly pushes her way out the door. 

Twenty minutes later she finds herself at Alex’s door. She knocks once, then twice, and then a rapid fire pound of her fist. 

The door swings open. “What on _Earth_ —Kelley?”

It’s hard to see her, even now, without thinking about the first time she saw her after it happened. Years of thinking she had been killed and years of mourning a life that would never be all culminated into one moment where a bright eyed and smiling Alex looked her straight on and asked her what her name was. 

She couldn’t decide what was worse; Alex being dead, or Alex being alive with absolutely no recognition at all. 

She’d stumbled home in a daze and collapsed on the couch she’d pushed Christen so hard to buy just because she knew Alex would have loved it, even though it clashed with everything and looked tacky against the paint. 

Looking at her now, with concern in her face, but still a blank stare in eyes that Kelley knows could be filled with so much life, it’s like the first time. Her breathing quickens, and she just rubs at her eyes with one hand while grabbing a chunk of her hair in the other and squeezing. 

With a soft hand a gentle touch, she feels Alex tug her inside and ask if she wants some tea or coffee She vaguely feels herself shaking her head. A wet  nose pokes at her calf, and it calms her somehow.  Blue hops up onto the bed with them and snuggles in between the two as Alex and Kelley lie on top of the blankets in silence. 

Then, in the calming voice that Kelley still conjures up in her head whenever her world is crashing down, Alex asks, “Do you want to talk about it?”

Kelley opens her mouth, but all that comes out is a gasping sob that shakes her body and robs her of her breath. She cries for what seems like hours until she has no tears left, and closes her eyes so Alex can rock her to sleep. 

It's a little thing. Nothing like the little things she’d always imagined, but good. 

Still good. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so sorry for the delay in updating, i’ve just been super busy and also sick lol & then i lost motivation rip. let me know what you think!! and can guess what happened with tobin?
> 
> — evan (jessieflemlng on tumblr)


End file.
